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Ha ha, well, this will surprise exactly no one, but: LARFS!!! Your most trusted news source in America, Fox News, has conducted a very important science-based poll regarding what should be done with captured Taliban news leader Mullah Baradar, and the respondents to this poll haveopinions! They also have ideas that are either very creative or cribbed from the spec script for Saw XVIII! Let's see what demonic torture tricks could be deployed by supersecret CIA contractors (Jack Bauer) in an underground Polish bunker, if only President Obama had the nads to authorize them.


  • Knowing Obama, he'll give a "RIGHTS" to these terrioist.
  • Once interogated for 3months he should be taken to new york city and have his head chopped off on telivision as a message to them that we have the nads to do as they do when forced into defending our rights to exist, this i know most think causes them to mistreat our military but they mistreat them anyways so show some nads and let them know their heads can roll too. oohrah semper fi
  • We should anesthetize him while he's sleeping and implant a tracking microchip in his back. Then we should let him escape, but make it look unintentional. After that, we should monitor his location using the tracking chip, and see if he leads us to more important figures.
  • Put him on public display dressed in clothing made from the skin of pigs. Then have the Messiah hire him as the new anti "man made disaster" czar
  • I once had to get Novocaine shots between my toes and it hurt like a mother! Trust me....it would work like a charm.

Tipster "Tom" reports a few other choice suggestions: making him live with "my ex-wife" and "eating pulled pork burritos." Which, come to think of it, sounds pretty awesome.

[Fox News]

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