Fox's Jon Stossel Applies Science To Obamacare, Says Ladies Should Pay More Since They're Always Faking It


Fox Business Network's resident Libertarian troll John Stossel dropped by the Murdoch Morning Mishegas today to explain to human snot otter Steve Doocy that Obamacare "kills the market" for health insurance by requiring a market for health insurance plans. See, the dealio is, by telling insurers they have to comply with some minimum standards, the Government is making it impossible for them to truly compete, because now people can't get worthless junk insurance that covers nothing.

The competition of the market is the only thing that makes things better,” he explained. “Yesterday, President Obama stood in front of a bunch of women in Massachusetts and said, ‘No longer will those evil insurance companies be able to charge you women more.’”

We're pretty sure that's a verbatim quote of what Obama said, all right. And then Stossel brought the Science, which of course the market always responds to with perfect rational logic:

“Women go to the doctor much more often than men! Maybe they’re smarter or maybe they’re hypochondriacs,” Stossel continued. “They live longer. Who knows? But if it’s insurance, you ought to be able to charge people who use the services more, more.”

It is also a Known Fact that women can't go as long without having to get up from their desks to pee, which is why employers should be allowed to pay them less for all that lost productivity. And don't even get us started on the unknowable nightmare mystery that is the Female Ladypart System of Squishy Stuff!

The Dooce was quick to drop a snappy rejoinder:

“But, John, you’re not paying attention,” Doocy said sarcastically. “This administration, this president wants to make everything fair. It’s not fair if you pay less than she does… And as a number of Republicans have made the argument, why should I pay for -- I’m in my 60s, why should I pay for your maternity coverage?”

Stossel was ready for that one, all right:

“Or why should women pay for men’s Viagra?” Stossel asked. “This mandating all this stuff it has to cover just takes away consumer choice.”

In fact, why should insurance have to "cover" anything at all? If we want to sell a policy that only pays $50 for the very few things it covers, and charges $54 a month for the premium, then why shouldn't the market allow it? People would buy it! In fact they did, and now Obama is making that terrific bargain go away!

Also, why do cars have to have bumpers and seatbelts? Some entrepreneur could probably find a way to sell cars for about $800 if it weren't for all those dumb regulations the gummint puts in the way. And airliners...if pilots didn't have to be "trained," just think how cheap a ticket to Paris would be, and we bet that most people would actually get there.

Anyway, it would be a much better world if insurance companies could just charge women more for all the weird shit their bodies do. But noooooo, we have to be "fair."


Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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