Donate

Fraudulent Former N.H. Congressional Candidate Is Saddest Person In World History

Gary Dodds was running for Congress in New Hampshire in 2006 when, out of nowhere, he became the saddest person in the history of the world. His campaign was low on funds, he had already spent double what he told his wife he'd spend, he'd taken out two mortgages (for renovations, mostly). He was broke and desperate. That's when he "disappeared" after a car crash in the snowy woods and was rescued 27 hours later, making him a Common Man and bringing in "campaign" cash. Earlier this year, he was convicted in court of making this up -- that he faked his own disappearance. And now he's been arrested again for violating bail conditions. This person's life makes us all want to drink, a lot.


Here's why Dodds was convicted for fraud in February:

Except for his shoes and socks, Dodds' clothing was dry when he was rescued. His feet were purple and wrinkled, but the rest of his skin was pink and dry. An expert in cold weather injuries testified that must have resulted from Dodds soaking his feet in cold water for a prolonged period of time.

Prosecutors allege that Dodds was desperate for money after having spent nearly double the amount his wife had agreed to and taking out two mortgages on their home to finance his campaign. But defense lawyers said bank records show the mortgages were used to pay for property renovations and there was no reason for Dodds to stage the crash.



Jesus. In March, however, he was sentenced to a mere 20 days in jail and a year of home confinement. Not bad! But since he is the saddest person in the history of the world, he had to ruin this instance of leniency as well.

Dodd's sentence hadn't started yet due to a pending appeal. That's when his wife called the police to report domestic abuse, and a judge revoked his bail and issued an arrest warrant.

Dodds became a fugitive.

Dodds was finally arrested today:

During the arrest Tuesday, Dodds refused orders from two sheriff's deputies, including that he give them his cell phone, authorities said. "Hands had to be placed on him to get his compliance," Velardi said.


And that's the story of the saddest person in the history of the world.

Ex-N.H. candidate convicted for fake disappearance arrested [AP/Google]
Ex-candidate says verdict has devastated his family [AP/Boston.com]






$
Donate with CC

Fellow Wonkers, this last week of horror has been wearing on us all, because here we are in a world where the "president" of the United States has ordered that migrant children be taken away from their parents at the border, and is simultaneously proud of it (for his base) and cravenly blaming it on Democrats because even he knows it's morally reprehensible. But what the hell can we do about it, we are all keening, beyond calling our senators and representatives and posting sadness on Twitter, the latter of which is of dubious utility to anyone, and mostly depressing?

Keep reading... Show less
Border Patrol photo
$
Donate with CC

There are perks to being the only Harvard professor willing to shill for the Bush League Mussolini. Everyone else has to haul ass to the Fox studio and sit for hair and makeup. Not Alan Dershowitz! He just parks his laptop in Pee Wee's playhouse and Skypes in that rant. Is he even wearing pants? We hope never to find out!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

SINGLE & MONTHLY DONATIONS

SUPPORT THE CAUSE - PAYPAL DONATION

PAYPAL RECURRING DONATIONS

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc

SUPPORT THE CAUSE

Donate