Fred Thompson Just Called to Say He's Running

Hollywood Fred Thompson, the hideous old man whom Americans have seen on TV and therefore will surely vote for, is going to stop not-not-running for president and start running for president, according to the Post. He will announce his candidacy at 4 p.m. today, via conference call. That's right, the grand announcement is happening on a conference call, because apparently an Instant Messenger Away Status Update was considered "too flashy."

So, in a few short hours, 800-1,000 lucky Republicans will get to barely hear Fred's gravelly voice babble something about being our next president and how Michael Moore is fat. Also at 4 will be another conference call with "Top Donors." Fred will be appearing on both. That's right, two simultaneous phone calls will herald the start of the unstoppable Thompson '08 juggernaut.

Then he's going to go on Leno to cement his status as most unpleasant person we can think of at the moment.

Now he can finally start not raising enough money and firing staffers every week! That will certainly be exciting.

Thompson to Tell Supporters He's In Today [WP]


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