Fuckin' A It's Not That Hard!

Rudy Giuliani: The Password Is 'ASSWORD'

Buckle up, chucklefux! This time it's WEIRD.

On Friday, after work, we decided to text one of our best friends to see what she was doing that night. So we pulled out our iPhone and typed "Hey, what you doing this evening," and then we laughed at ourselves because we realized we typed that INTO OUR GOOGLE SEARCH BAR, and we looked at ourselves in the mirror and said "OK Boomer," even though we are not a Boomer.

Speaking of that, computer genius cyber expert superlawyer Rudy Giuliani appears to have texted his password, or a password, to a reporter named Roger Sollenberger, who had just published a thing at BuzzFeed where Giuliani had confirmed some new Ukraine crimes for him, like Giuliani does all the time whenever he opens his mouth. And then it was a dark and stormy night, and Rudy went to a baseball game with Alan Dershowitz:

Two days after publication, on the evening he attended a Yankees playoff game with Alan Dershowitz, Giuliani — President Donald Trump's 75-year-old informal cybersecurity adviser — accidentally texted me what appeared to be a password: Eight characters, beginning with the name of a networking company and including a capital letter, a special character, and a number. Multiple IT experts confirmed it could be nothing else, and, given the iPhone's messaging setup, impossible to type with your butt or in any other unwitting way.

Au contraire, Roger Sollenberger! Maybe Rudy Giuliani's butt just has remarkable dexterity! But is he left-cheeked or right-cheeked? That is what enterprising journalists need to find out.

Sollenberger decided to be nice and say hello, my dude, you appear to have just given me your password, and Rudy said no I gave you my ASSWORD!

I alerted him. He replied, "Oh, that was just a butt dial," but thanked me, punctuated with a smiley-face emoji.

:)

OK, so obviously "Rudy Giuliani, Cyber Expert" is a running joke at this point, because he is BAD AT CYBER.

But this story is just beginning!

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Fuckin' A It's Not That Hard!

Rudy Giuliani Cybered Himself Again

iPhones are hard.

It's Friday, the day we give thanks that the week is over and we discuss the things that bring us joy. You might be joyful about the Washington Nationals winning the World Series. We are joyful that Rudy Giuliani, Cyber Expert™, has cybered himself, yet again, right in the bottom.

Because you know he calls himself a Cyber Expert™, right? He does.

Yes, very soon after we learned about how Giuliani has a certain tendency to dial reporters' numbers on his cell phone with his old man ass and then proceed to leave long discussions of his crimes in their voicemail, NBC News reports that Rudy Giuliani, Cyber Expert™, one time in 2017 had to spend the day at the Apple Store because he locked himself out of his own iPhone.

This happened after he became Donald Trump's "cybersecurity adviser," because something something Trump picks best people something something.

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News

'This Week,' Meet The Putzes!

It's The Sunday Show Rundown!

It seems like this week the concentrated political idiocy was all found in two places, NBC's "Meet The Press" and ABC's "This Week." And much like a Gozer the Gozerian of bad political takes, Chuck Todd was mostly there to usher in all forms of the stupid. So allow me to "bust" these morons for you.

I Ain't Afraid of No Chucks media3.giphy.com

We formally begin with Trump Coven Administration head of the Office of Budget and Management (OMB), acting Chief of Staff, and full time asshole, DMick Mulvaney on "Meet The Press." Mulvaney, as with every appearance he made this week (and any other week for that matter), had plenty of gems to deliver. After the tragic Virginia shooting on Friday that killed 12 people, Mulvaney was asked what Trump plans to do about it. Mulvaney decided to keep the "Thoughts and Prayer" cannons at home and skip straight to the "Don't politicize this" step of conservative inaction:

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Brokaw Palace

Sunday show rundown a day late, some dollars short!

It's your friendly neighborhood Sunday Show Rundown, which Rebecca forgot to post yesterday, and she has no idea how that happened. Today features one political supervillain and one "banality of evil" villain, so let's dive in.

We begin with former Trump campaign advisor, South Florida lowlife, and soon to be federal inmate Roger Stone.

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