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California's 39th: WE GOT US A SHITSHOW!

We're not pointing any fingers, but someone screwed up.

The California 39th is a chunk of SoCal that includes portions of Orange, Los Angeles, and San Bernardino counties (mostly Orange). The district currently boasts a large number of Asian-American and Mexican-American immigrants, and a fair amount of young people thanks to several colleges and universities. With many people working white collar or service industry gigs, the median income clocks in at just over $85,000, but fewer than half of the roughly 225,000 households report an income of less than $75,000. Though the cost of living out here is higher than the national average, it's mostly well to do. (According to the editrix, Fullerton is mostly middle-aged people who used to be punks. She does not have a graph to support that.) Long story short, if you can afford to live here, you're doing all right.

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Post-Racial America

Texas Bigot Should Be More Like The Queen

Queen Elizabeth is now blacker than Rachel Dolezal.

Queen Elizabeth's Nazi-tolerant Uncle would have some quibbles with this photo.

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Post-Racial America

Schools Staying Fucked Up

Hey, teacher! Leave them kids alone...

Not to be outdone by Rando White Male Supremacist Domestic Terrorists or Addicted To Calling 911 On Black Folks Massa Wifey Syndrome Afflicted Beckys, racists in schools are now getting in on the action. No, not Teenaged Grand Dragons pictured above either, we're talking about the supposed authority figures employed and entrusted with guiding young minds.

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Fuckin' A It's Not That Hard!

How Can You Even Be A Feminist If You Don't Agree With Women You Disagree With, Huh?

Amazingly, it is possible.

This week, the National Review posed an insincere question that has been plaguing insincere conservatives for generations, or at least since Phyllis Schlafly was around: Why don't feminists support women who have bad ideas and want to do bad things? Does that make them hypocrites?

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Post-Racial America

If People Calling You A Nazi Turns You Into A Nazi, The Nazi Was In You All Along

Saying being called 'alt-right' makes you want to join the 'alt-right' is like saying being called a 'shithead' makes you want a hat made of human feces.

I am so, so sorry to do this to you guys, but I'm gonna have to write about Bari Weiss again. Well, not Bari Weiss specifically so much as a ridiculous thing Bari Weiss said that a lot of other people also say. A thing I have been itching to yell about for some time now.

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Fuckin' A It's Not That Hard!

Does Jonathan Chait Think Liberals Don't Know How To Google?

It is not hard to find out what conservatives think.

Yesterday, New York Magazine's Jonathan Chait tried to explain "Why Liberal Media Needs Conservative Columnists." This was, of course, partially in response to the Atlantic's firing of Kevin Williamson. Apparently it is a very big cause for concern when something as minor as wanting to hang one-fourth of the women in this country disqualifies a white Republican man from getting paid to give his opinion on things for a living.

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Fuckin' A It's Not That Hard!

Kellyanne Conway, Get Back Under Your Tree

Kellyanne wonders if criticizing Sarah Huckabee Sanders for lying is an attack on ALL women. It's not.

Dear Kellyanne Conway,

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Fuckin' A It's Not That Hard!

It's Almost As If You Can't Casually Tweet About Wanting To Hang Women Who Have Abortions Anymore!

How is that even fair?

Earlier this month, The Atlantic announced that they would be hiring former National Review writer Kevin Williamson as an op-ed contributor. This was supposed to be a balanced hire, to bring diverging views to the publication. This has been a hot trend recently, with venerable media organizations hiring conservative Never Trumpers as some way of hepping their liberal audience to different opinions and viewpoints. You know, because we are too stupid to go to another website and find them ourselves, I guess.

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News

Midterm Madness: Illinois 5th, and the Lying, Lady-Punching Douchebag

There's a Wolf in Illinois 5th District, and we're going to flush the son of a bitch out.

photo by Dominic Gwinn.

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News

Cost Of CHIP Really A Bargain. Especially Compared To Price Of 9 Million Tiny Caskets.

It's A Festivus miracle! Actually, it's more of a Festivus not-entirely-a-tragedy!

Seriously. Just stop fucking around already.

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Elections

How Did Trump Family Survive All This Time Without People Reminding Them To Breathe?

I'm not even mad. That's amazing.

I regret to inform you of the death of satire. Oft-mourned, it had until now always managed a glorious resurrection, but I think it is possible that the Trump clan have finally killed it d-e-d dead.

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News

Condoleezza Rice Can't Quiiiite Endorse Doug Jones, Who Prosecuted The Men Who Murdered Her Childhood Friend

Maybe not the best time for subtlety, Condi?

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News

The Tax Bill Was Not The Democrats’ Fault You Silly Wankers

I don’t even LIKE the Dems and I can tell you that they’re not the problem here.

THIS WOMAN IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR SHITTY CONGRESS

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Post-Racial America

Trump: Hey Kid, You Wanna Watch A Snuff Film?

This is the grossest. (We have redacted the parts you don't want to see.)

GOOD MORNING. Today is one of those days where you may just not want to read the news at all!

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Guns

Gun People Making Me Look Bad Again

I'm a gun owner and NOT AN IDIOT. It's not that hard!

This is an actual thing you can buy from Cabot.

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Post-Racial America

New York Times's Nazi Profile Was Better In Original German

We can't ignore the fucking Nazis. We don't have to fawn over them either.

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