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'This Week,' Meet The Putzes!

It's The Sunday Show Rundown!

It seems like this week the concentrated political idiocy was all found in two places, NBC's "Meet The Press" and ABC's "This Week." And much like a Gozer the Gozerian of bad political takes, Chuck Todd was mostly there to usher in all forms of the stupid. So allow me to "bust" these morons for you.

I Ain't Afraid of No Chucks media3.giphy.com

We formally begin with Trump Coven Administration head of the Office of Budget and Management (OMB), acting Chief of Staff, and full time asshole, DMick Mulvaney on "Meet The Press." Mulvaney, as with every appearance he made this week (and any other week for that matter), had plenty of gems to deliver. After the tragic Virginia shooting on Friday that killed 12 people, Mulvaney was asked what Trump plans to do about it. Mulvaney decided to keep the "Thoughts and Prayer" cannons at home and skip straight to the "Don't politicize this" step of conservative inaction:

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Brokaw Palace

Sunday show rundown a day late, some dollars short!

It's your friendly neighborhood Sunday Show Rundown, which Rebecca forgot to post yesterday, and she has no idea how that happened. Today features one political supervillain and one "banality of evil" villain, so let's dive in.

We begin with former Trump campaign advisor, South Florida lowlife, and soon to be federal inmate Roger Stone.

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Come, Lean In, We Want To Whisper You A Secret, It Is $$$!!1!

Why yes, it IS that time of month!

Gentle flowers of love, our darlings, the ones who make us whole, who let us hire writers at a living wage, who keep us going through the Trumpenstorm, who complete us: Move on down to the comments for open thread, your work today is done! The rest of you, the ones who have been meaning to get your credit card or your paypal password for lo these SEVEN or FOURTEEN YEARS NOW, YOU:

Hi! I'm Rebecca. Have we met yet? We HAVE? Because you've been coming twice a week or four times a day for us to guide you through our fascist horror, together? Sweet! Barring you really ain't got none, we would like your money.

But you always need money, you are hissing through your beardo crumbs. Well, yes! That is how food and rent/mortgages and paychecks and servers work. As the lucky-ducky federal workers have discovered, you have to pay for them on an ongoing basis. And you know who likes food and mortgages and paychecks and servers? It is your Wonkette!

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Fuckin' A It's Not That Hard!

Why Are We All Yelling About 'Pay-Go?'

What you need to know about today's stupidest lefty infighting.

Today's the day for Democrats to take control of the House of Representatives, so right on schedule, it's time for a "Dems in Disarray" story, innit? You see, kids, as part of any new Congress, the majority sets up rules for how the House will run things, and this year there are a lot of provisions that will correct some of the Republican fuckery of recent years, like annual ethics training for all members of Congress, barring members from being on corporate boards, and -- a big favorite to prevent any more tricks like the secret bill to kill Obamacare -- a rule requiring that all bills brought to the floor have at least one hearing in a relevant committee before going to the floor.

Ah, but one item in the package of new rules suddenly became, for at least some lefties, a hill to die on, at least until the next Young Turks video: the return of the "Pay as you go" rule, usually shortened to "paygo" (with any number of variant spellings/punctuations), even though that sounds like a character from some anime you never watched. To hear some of the howling about it, you'd think the inclusion of the rule was the equivalent of Nancy Pelosi and top Dems handing the gavel to Louie Gohmert and the Freedom Kochers. To cement our reputation as neoliberal sellouts, let's look at why maybe paygo isn't going to strangle the progressive agenda in the cradle, and why the progressives the Young Turks are screaming at are in fact still progressives.

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The Week In Garbage Men: Asshole Teacher Decides To Resign Rather Than Call Trans Students By Their Names

Good riddance to bad teachers!

Meet John Kluge! He is a (now former) central Indiana Orchestra teacher who says he was "forced" to resign from his job rather than not deadname trans students.

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News

California's 39th: WE GOT US A SHITSHOW!

We're not pointing any fingers, but someone screwed up.

The California 39th is a chunk of SoCal that includes portions of Orange, Los Angeles, and San Bernardino counties (mostly Orange). The district currently boasts a large number of Asian-American and Mexican-American immigrants, and a fair amount of young people thanks to several colleges and universities. With many people working white collar or service industry gigs, the median income clocks in at just over $85,000, but fewer than half of the roughly 225,000 households report an income of less than $75,000. Though the cost of living out here is higher than the national average, it's mostly well to do. (According to the editrix, Fullerton is mostly middle-aged people who used to be punks. She does not have a graph to support that.) Long story short, if you can afford to live here, you're doing all right.

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Texas Bigot Should Be More Like The Queen

Queen Elizabeth is now blacker than Rachel Dolezal.

Queen Elizabeth's Nazi-tolerant Uncle would have some quibbles with this photo.

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Schools Staying Fucked Up

Hey, teacher! Leave them kids alone...

Not to be outdone by Rando White Male Supremacist Domestic Terrorists or Addicted To Calling 911 On Black Folks Massa Wifey Syndrome Afflicted Beckys, racists in schools are now getting in on the action. No, not Teenaged Grand Dragons pictured above either, we're talking about the supposed authority figures employed and entrusted with guiding young minds.

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How Can You Even Be A Feminist If You Don't Agree With Women You Disagree With, Huh?

Amazingly, it is possible.

This week, the National Review posed an insincere question that has been plaguing insincere conservatives for generations, or at least since Phyllis Schlafly was around: Why don't feminists support women who have bad ideas and want to do bad things? Does that make them hypocrites?

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If People Calling You A Nazi Turns You Into A Nazi, The Nazi Was In You All Along

Saying being called 'alt-right' makes you want to join the 'alt-right' is like saying being called a 'shithead' makes you want a hat made of human feces.

I am so, so sorry to do this to you guys, but I'm gonna have to write about Bari Weiss again. Well, not Bari Weiss specifically so much as a ridiculous thing Bari Weiss said that a lot of other people also say. A thing I have been itching to yell about for some time now.

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Does Jonathan Chait Think Liberals Don't Know How To Google?

It is not hard to find out what conservatives think.

Yesterday, New York Magazine's Jonathan Chait tried to explain "Why Liberal Media Needs Conservative Columnists." This was, of course, partially in response to the Atlantic's firing of Kevin Williamson. Apparently it is a very big cause for concern when something as minor as wanting to hang one-fourth of the women in this country disqualifies a white Republican man from getting paid to give his opinion on things for a living.

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Kellyanne Conway, Get Back Under Your Tree

Kellyanne wonders if criticizing Sarah Huckabee Sanders for lying is an attack on ALL women. It's not.

Dear Kellyanne Conway,

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It's Almost As If You Can't Casually Tweet About Wanting To Hang Women Who Have Abortions Anymore!

How is that even fair?

Earlier this month, The Atlantic announced that they would be hiring former National Review writer Kevin Williamson as an op-ed contributor. This was supposed to be a balanced hire, to bring diverging views to the publication. This has been a hot trend recently, with venerable media organizations hiring conservative Never Trumpers as some way of hepping their liberal audience to different opinions and viewpoints. You know, because we are too stupid to go to another website and find them ourselves, I guess.

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Midterm Madness: Illinois 5th, and the Lying, Lady-Punching Douchebag

There's a Wolf in Illinois 5th District, and we're going to flush the son of a bitch out.

photo by Dominic Gwinn.

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Cost Of CHIP Really A Bargain. Especially Compared To Price Of 9 Million Tiny Caskets.

It's A Festivus miracle! Actually, it's more of a Festivus not-entirely-a-tragedy!

Seriously. Just stop fucking around already.

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Featured

How Did Trump Family Survive All This Time Without People Reminding Them To Breathe?

I'm not even mad. That's amazing.

I regret to inform you of the death of satire. Oft-mourned, it had until now always managed a glorious resurrection, but I think it is possible that the Trump clan have finally killed it d-e-d dead.

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