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Fugitive Financier Probably Just In Denny's Bathroom, Wearing Groucho Marx Glasses

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  • GM and Chrysler need $14 billion more than they needed in December, so that they can lay off 50,000 more workers. [Detroit Free Press]
  • As part of the new governing coalition's efforts to rebuild the economy, 130,000 Zimbabwean government employees will be paid in U.S. dollars, which are slightly less worthless than Zimbabwean dollars. [BBC News]
  • Intrigue! Yet another financier accused of bilking customers out of billions has gone missing. [ABC News]
  • Today President Obama will roll out his plan to prevent gazillions more mortgage foreclosures. Hope is on the way! [ABC News]
  • Another day, another half-assed explanation from Roland Burris about how he didn't talk to anybody about raising money for Rod Blagojevich, except for that time he talked with Rod's brother Rob, but he said he couldn't do a fundraiser, but he said he could talk to some people about donating money, BLARGH stop talking Roland Burris. [Chicago Tribune]
  • Bill Clinton has finally come around and grudgingly admits that Barack Obama is an OK guy with some decent ideas. [CNN]
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