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Gary Coleman Running Amok in Downtown D.C.

Office workers downtown are being warned of a new menace: Tiny black people.


Says one administrator:

We are concerned by these thefts and have been in contact with the Metropolitan Police Department (MPD). From the information we have received, we learned that a black male, approximately 4-feet tall, has been caught on camera burglarizing properties. According to MPD, this man is familiarizing himself with the property he is planning to hit. . .

And from another company:

I am forwarding some pictures of the person suspected of committing the office thefts in our building (from another law firm). He is a suspect for several other thefts in other buildings, as well. The police told the administrator that the person was very aggressive and is about 4 feet tall. . . I'm also happy to discuss any security concerns you may have.
Needless to say, we must have these pictures. Frankly though, we're sort of disgusted by this blatant height profiling. First they came for the belligerent small people, and I said nothing. . . .

Full memos after the jump.

Memorandum

To: All Clients

From: Kathy Barnes, Senior Vice President

Date: June 24, 2004

Re Thefts in the Area

We believe that providing timely and accurate information of incidents occurring in and around our buildings, is vital to helping our Clients stay informed and prepared.

We have learned that a string of thefts have occurred in buildings in the Downtown D.C. area. Small electronic items are being stolen.

We are concerned by these thefts and have been in contact with the Metropolitan Police Department (MPD). From the information we have received, we learned that a black male, approximately 4-feet tall, has been caught on camera burglarizing properties. According to MPD, this man is familiarizing himself with the property he is planning to hit, as well as befriending the security guards on duty.

If you see this man, you are urged to call 911 immediately.

As always, should you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me at 202.XXX.XXXX or via email at XXXXX@XXXXXX.com. Thank you.

From: Stull, Mark O

Sent: Friday, June 25, 2004 9:05 AM

To: DCEVERYONE

Subject: Office Thefts

I am forwarding some pictures of the person suspected of committing the office thefts in our building (from another law firm). He is a suspect for several other thefts in other buildings, as well. The police told the administrator that the person was very aggressive and is about 4 feet tall. If you see him, you should contact the lobby guard (Sys. Speed 301) 393-XXXX and contact me. We should always be diligent, do not allow people you don't know to follow you into our space through a secured door. You should also make sure that valuables are secured. We have been very fortunate the past few years, but don't take a chance by leaving purses, wallets and laptops unsecured. Please contact Joyce Feaster if you need a key to your desk or work area. I'm also happy to discuss any security concerns you may have.

Mark

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