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Gay Marriage Fever Upgraded To Level 5

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  • President Obama WON THE EVENING with his press conference, which closely resembled his many other press conferences in that he allowed exactly 13 questions. (Satan???!) [Christian Science Monitor]
  • A car in a Dutch parade crashed into the crowd and killed two people, but thankfully not their beloved Queen or other members of the royal family. [BBC News]
  • A woman has come forward and said that her father was the Zodiac killer (a fellow who went around murdering lovers in San Francisco and the Bay Area for a while there), but people say that all the time so nobody believes her. [San Jose Mercury News]
  • The state of New Hampshire fell victim to the Gay Marriage Flu sweeping the nation; its Senate and House have approved a marriage bill. Now they have to see if the governor will sign it. [Boston Globe]
  • An elementary school in Contra Costa County (that's in California) closed with lightning speed after some kids with the sniffles stayed home because duh, swine flu. [San Francisco Chronicle]
  • A building in lower Manhattan fell down and went boom, but no worries, the dummy who flew Barack Obama's jet into the Statue of Liberty was not to blame this time. [New York Times]
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