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Gay Sex: Be Havin' It!

beware the cartoon sex ed teacherAn organization called The Article Eight Alliance ("Citizens regaining control of their own government!") is very, very upset about a sex education booklet that was reportedly handed out to high school students in in Brookline, MA on April 30. They describe it as being "extremely gross and disgusting," so much so that they had to put it on the internet, where no children will ever see it again.


Wait...

You see the logical flaw, right? Actually, we think there's a perverse genius at work here. Because while of course young fags looking for instruction in various forms of ass-play always look first to material banned by the religious right, once they see this guide they will never fuck again, because nothing attracts The Melty Man like perky sex ed. And this booklet is the Kathy Lee of sex guides: There's the cartoon sex ed instructor. And all of the sex acts described end with "-in'" -- very Vanilla Ice, really -- as in "fuckin'," suckin'" and "jerkin' off," the latter touted is being "a hot and safe way to have fun." Oh, and the authors used enough exclamation points throughout (The "Handy-Dandy Condom Guide" exhorts instruction in "Usin' 'em!") to choke Jeff Gannon. But the worst offense would have to be a caution against getting "dookie on your noodle." Is the target audience eight? Ok, that would be bad....

On the plus side: There are several pictures of erect penises. Or are those exclamation points? We spent the morning staring at the brochure and now it's hard to tell.

"The Little Black Book - Queer in the 21st Century" [Article 8 Alliance]

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'Miga and Carlos' by Wonkette Operative 'Chica'

It's Father's Day, which means it's time for Yr Dok Zoom and his son to go to brunch and check out the downtown Boise Father's Day Car Show so we can ooh and ah over the very same Corvettes 'n' Mustangs 'n' lovingly-restored classic cars that are there every year, and I will probably once again point at the '68 Beetle converted to run on electricity and say, "Oh look, a Voltswagen!" Traditions matter. (Kid Zoom is 22, so I may also/instead meet him for cocktails later like grown up human people.)

Don't worry about any deep thoughts on the Meaning of Fatherhood here -- we're just going to enjoy the goofy side of dadding, which as far as I'm concerned is the best thing I've done with my time. Especially since my role model for parenting was the unnamed Dad from "Calvin and Hobbes."

As any fool knows, ice rises to the top of liquids because it's cold, and just wants to be closer to the sun so it can warm up. It's all in the book you get when you become a father.

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

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