Log Cabin Republicans Endorse Trump, Because They Like Getting Punched In The Face

This is so fucking embarrassing.

Splendid news for Donald Trump, everybody! His gays have decided they enjoy being punched in the face, and therefore they are endorsing his re-election in 2020. Hooray! The Log Cabin Republicans (LCR) didn't endorse Trump in 2016, but now everything has changed, we guess. After all, the president isn't gay-bashing them right this second, and that's literally the most "tolerance" they expect in life, because they don't in their heart of hearts believe they deserve to be treated with full dignity and respect. Mazel tov!

Of course, they're framing it differently, because denial:

Ah, the power of low expectations. He hit them, and it really did feel like a kiss!

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​Whatcha Doin' Down There, Mike Pence?

Just like a prayer ... your voice can take me there ...

The world is terrible and Donald Trump The White Supremacist is in El Paso trying to "console" the families of victims his rhetoric helped murder, and the economy is fucked, and Rep. Joaquin Castro is causing Maggie Haberman to be even less self-aware than usual. In times like these, you know what we need to do? Take cheap shots at Mike Pence.

You see, Brother Pence, who is married to Mother Pence, has a message for us. Or at least his message was for the viciously anti-gay Alliance Defending Freedom clown law outfit, and it was that when you're weary, feeling small, when tears are in your eyes, you should just make like a common Mike Pence and get down on your knees and STAY THERE.

And while you're down there! Well, we guess you should do whatever Mike Pence does while he's down there.

OK fine, it's a prayer! He's down there for a prayer! Or maybe it's ... like a prayer?

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Culture Wars

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott Saves Bigot Chicken Sandwiches From Gay Hordes

Chick-fil-A now has more legal protections than gay families in Texas.

On Thursday, Texas Gov. Greg Abbott took a bold stand for religious liberty, at least if by "liberty" you mean the right of corporations to hate gay people without consequence. Abbott signed into law Senate Bill 1978, nicknamed the "Save Chick-fil-A" bill despite the lack of any danger to the restaurant chain, which believes Chicken Jesus died and was deep fried for your sins, and that's why gays are an abomination. The bill prohibits all government entities in Texas from taking "adverse actions" against any company or individual because of religious beliefs. It was a top priority for Republican culture warriors in Texas after the San Antonio City Council decided in March against letting Chicken Breast Savior open a location in the city's airport.

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Alabama GOP Senate Candidate Says Less Buttsex, More Gunsmoke, PEW PEW PEW!

Is this a winning platform for Alabama? Sure why not.

Let's check in on the GOP Senate primary in Alabama! Did you know that accused kid toucher Roy Moore has primary opponents? That's right, Alabama Republicans aren't just gonna let him Stranger Danger his way into office without a fight. We'd like to introduce you to one of his opponents, current Alabama Secretary of State John Merrill, who, unlike Moore, hasn't been accused of touching any kids -- to our knowledge, but this is Alabama, so who knows! -- but who, like Moore, has some bizarre thoughts about the homosexuals. Specifically he is tired of seeing them on his television, and would like to see more "Gunsmoke" on the TV instead.

Is "Less Buttsex, More Gunsmoke" a winning platform for Alabama? Probably sure why not! It's a very serious state, after all.

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The One Million Moms Having Massive Heaving Panic Attack Over, Uh, Toy Story 4

Culture war sobs aren't even about Megan Rapinoe.

The One Million Moms are being completely reasonable again, asking parents and other concerned citizens to sign a petition to tell Disney that they are mad about a "dangerous" and "controversial" scene they were "blindsided" by in the new Toy Story movie.

And how, exactly, is Toy Story 4 assaulting the virgin eyes of their young, impressionable children? WITH LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY. And they will not stand for it!

To Disney from One Million Moms:

I do not appreciate Disney including LGBTQ content in the children's movie Toy Story 4. There has been a deliberate lack of mentioning this content. Therefore, families are blindsided intentionally by your company. Actions such as this make me continue to distrust Disney.

Wait, no, not lesbian pornography. Lesbian moms. Two one-second scenes of lesbian moms dropping their kid off at school and then subsequently picking them up. So easy to get those two things confused!

But then they have hot, steamy, sexy sex (probably scissoring) right there in front of all the school children????

No. They just give their kid a hug, and then ostensibly return to their cartoon home and eat some cartoon snacks, or maybe they run some cartoon errands or take their kid to a cartoon piano class. We don't know, because they are background characters that are only in the movie for a couple seconds.

And that, according to the One Million Moms, is exactly the problem.

At the start of the movie, when Woody's new owner Bonnie goes for her first day of kindergarten, in the background there is a quick scene where one child is dropped off by two moms. Later, the moms return to pick up their child who gives them a hug. The scene is subtle in order to to desensitize children. But it is obvious that the child has two mothers, and they are parenting together. Toy Story 4 is the last place parents would expect their children to be confronted with content regarding sexual orientation. Issues of this nature are being introduced too early and too soon. It is extremely common yet unnecessary.

Ah yes. Who knows what could happen if their children watch this movie! They might not scream in horror when they encounter a non-cartoon gay person! They might not be the weird kid in school who doesn't know that gay people exist in the year 2019!

The fact that the scene was so short, apparently, resulted in it not even being reported in the mainstream media as a national emergency, making it look as if everyone was just totally fine with some moms picking their kid up from school:

Some in the gay blogging community have agreed that the moment "was not groundbreaking by any standard" but continued to praise it as a "small moment of normalization," which is exactly why 1MM finds this to be so dangerous. It has not been mentioned much in mainstream media, which could appear as acceptance when really it was because it happened so fast. But the scene was included and intentionally not announced prior to the movie release in hopes it would be kept quiet to expose as many children as possible.

Just like a subway flasher!

In addition to the Toy Story 4 petition, One Million Moms is also currently hosting petitions to tell Teen Vogue to stop telling teenagers that abortion exists, yell at Procter & Gamble for a commercial wherein a young girl uses dandruff shampoo and then goes to prom with another girl, and to yell at Kroger for getting a perfect score on the Human Rights Campaign's 2019 Corporate Equality Index by sponsoring gay pride parades, and running ads during NBC's Good Girls, probably because they are mad about how awesome Retta is.

It may shock you to know that One Million Moms is not actually an organization of one million moms who are just really concerned that their children might find out that gay people exist. In fact, it is not an organization at all. Rather it is an "online project" run by the American Family Association, an SPLC designated hate group. All they do is put up petitions on their site that, as far as we know, may never even actually be signed by anyone.

[One Million Moms]

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Culture Wars

Meet The Commanders Of Mike Pompeo's God Hates Fags Commission On 'Human Rights'!

Yes, there is an Aunt Lydia too. In fact, she is the boss!

Since everything is hell now, and terrible, disgusting and/or heartbreaking news comes out of Washington about a thousand times a minute, you might not have heard about Secretary of State Jesus-Willikers McWestboroBaptist and his new international commission on human rights. Doesn't that sound nice? Human rights are a great thing! And Mike Pompeo's new commission is focused on "unalienable rights," and we certainly agree, we don't want any Sigourney Weaver aliens mucking around in our human rights!

Pompeo explained earlier this week, when he officially announced the Commission on Unalienable Rights:

The commission is composed of human rights experts, philosophers, and activists, Republicans, Democrats, and Independents of varied background and beliefs, who will provide me with advice on human rights grounded in our nation's founding principles and the principles of the 1948 Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

That sounds just great, but this is Mike Pompeo, so you are probably wondering where the fundamentalist Christian Jesus Hitler poison is. Perhaps this line will give you a clue?

As human rights claims have proliferated, some claims have come into tension with one another, provoking questions and clashes about which rights are entitled to gain respect. Nation-states and international institutions remain confused about their respective responsibilities concerning human rights.

Human rights clashing with other human rights, whatever (gay) could he possibly (gay) mean? (He means God Hates Fags. And also women.)

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Oh No, BuzzFeed Is Being A Gay Homo-Fascist Again

BuzzFeed profiled Judd Deere, gay GOP idiot White House deputy press sec. Now a gay GOP idiot at the Washington Examiner is MAD!

Oh my stars, a gay homofascist liberal agenda-doer has made the Washington Examiner upset, and you will never guess why, because you don't care enough to guess why. A BuzzFeed reporter named Dominic Holden (full disclosure, we know that guy!) did an interview and profile of White House Deputy Press Secretary Judd Deere, a gay homosexual Republican quisling, wherein Deere came off as a combination of a useful idiot and a smug garbage human (he's a gay Republican, after all), and now none of the gays in DC will invite Judd Deere to the glitter ball! (By the way, yes, Judd Deere is a real name, and is not a character from a never-to-be-published series of Arkansas sex-fucky romance novels by Sarah Huckabee Sanders. "Hogan Gidley," on the other hand, continues to be the main character of those novels. Allegedly.)

The Washington Examiner writer, Brad Polumbo, who is also a conserva-gay, begins his bellyaching:

It started with a Buzzfeed profile, provocatively entitled "This Trump Spokesperson Is Gay — And He Doesn't Care If That Makes The Left Mad." The piece's bias and assumptions about the Trump administration were obvious from the get-go: The subheading describes Deere as the man who "speak[s] for the president who pushes anti-LGBTQ policies." This ignores the reality that Trump is the most pro-gay president in American history.

It's funny, in Holden's BuzzFeed piece, he describes gay Republican quisling dipshit useful idiots like this:

Gay Republicans these days seem to embrace a sort of cognitive dissonance. They tend to tweeze out Trump's LGBTQ-friendly gestures and display them like Baby Simba while sweeping the rest under the rug.

Our point is that Holden refuted Polumbo's opening whine in his original article, and Wonkette has nothing more to say besides how we can't imagine how stupid and/or self-loathing one would have to be to think the Trump administration -- which banned trans folks from serving in the military, opposes the Equality Act, and has fought to enshrine the holy right of Christian cake bakers to refuse to frost homosexual cakes for Jesus into law -- is the "most pro-gay president in American history." (And so much more! Here is a list of all the times the Trump administration has been severely and viciously anti-LGBT.)

But then again, gay Republicans have a very different standard when it comes to being accepted. They tend to act as if everything's cool as long as their Republican "friends" aren't gay bashing them right now.

Anyway, onward with the bitching and bellyaching from Polumbo in the Examiner about how Judd Deere can't get his dick sucked in DuPont Circle anymore:

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Oreos said something nice to trans people; conservatives hate that LGBT is good for business.

Pride month just ended, and corporate America eagerly marched in the parade. Companies expressed their support for the LGBT community with an endless variety of rainbow-themed products. You could accessorize for Pride at Target, freshen your breath with rainbow-flavored Listerine, and eat crappy pizza for Pride. There's even pot at the end of the Pride rainbow -- no gold, just actual weed.

This has led to some backlash from folks concerned that corporations have hijacked Pride season for the benefit of their profit margins. Now we know how Christians feel! Critics refer to the phenomenon as "pinkwashing." Will success spoil both Rock Hunter and Pride month? Let's hope not, because the "mainstream" embrace of Pride is causing our least favorite people to lose their closed minds.

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​Straight Pride Dipsh*ts Receive Glitter In Mail, Call The Cops


And now, for a story about crime in America, and the very tough guys who are sometimes nonetheless victimized. You have heard about this "Straight Pride" celebration happening in Boston, maybe, but not because Wonkette told you about it. Some things are too stupid to cover. But that was then and this is now, because somebody mailed some glitter and some Bible verses to the founders of the very normal and well-adjusted group throwing Straight Pride -- which will be very bigly attended, we are certain! -- and, um, well, they called the cops.

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Culture Wars

Erick Erickson Leads Oppressed Christians Through The Valley Of The Shadow Of GAYS! OH F*CK! GAYS EVERYWHERE!


Glory hallelujah! Erick Erickson, who has not fucked any goats that we know of but who recently argued (for clickbait reasons) that Pete Buttigieg probably thinks Jesus does like bestiality, has written a column teaching "Christians" how to behave during Pride month, we guess because they needed a primer. And yes, we know Pride month is technically over, but that little scheduling conflict didn't seem to bother Erickson, who published it in his hometown Macon Telegraph on June 30, so why should it bother us?

It starts:

What are Christians to do during Pride?

Um ... cut the grass? Pay the bills? Or even ... go to Pride if they wanna?

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Kamala Harris Dances Her Ass Off At San Francisco Pride, Is President Now

It was a landslide victory.

A few months back there was a minor outbreak of massive sexism when Kamala Harris was campaigning in South Carolina and, stopping at a local business to shop, ended up trying on and buying a fun and crazy rainbow sequined jacket. We can report that the rainbow sequined jacket Harris wore to San Francisco Pride is not the same one she bought in South Carolina, because we looked at the pictures and, using our fashion expertise, determined they are not the same jacket. Kamala Harris: She Has (At Least) TWO Rainbow Sequined Jackets.

So Pride month is officially over, and now it is Heterosexuality Appreciation Year again, as it always is, but the 2020 Democratic candidates partied their asses off this weekend for Pride as June came to a close.

Here is Kamala Harris dancing her ass off at Pride and laughing:

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Nice Time

A Summery Summary Of Nice Things

More AI chats, Stephen King's terror dog, and some summer reading.

It's a good day to take a break from your media diet of horrors and relax with some nice things, which we not only can have but need, damn it. Let's dive right in!

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Culture Wars

Happy Pride! Trump Got You This Federal Judge Nom Who Hates Gay People, Birth Control, Non-Christians, Joy

The Senate's set to put Matthew Kacsmaryk, who has one HELL of a paper trail, on the federal bench.

Rightwing extremist Matthew Kacsmaryk is set to be confirmed to a lifetime appointment as a federal judge.

Kacsmaryk is a Trump nominee to the US District Court for the Northern District of Texas. The Northern District covers a large part of the state, including the Dallas-Fort Worth area, and is home to nearly eight million people.

Kacsmaryk's current job is deputy general counsel to First Liberty Institute, an organization that promotes the belief that Christians in America are just constantly being persecuted. His nomination is opposed by a myriad of civil rights and public health groups and basically every LGBTQ rights organization.

As noted by Texas Observer writer Michael Barajas,

Matthew Kacsmaryk [has] worked to erode the firewall between church and state as lawyer for the First Liberty Institute, a Christian legal advocacy group that protects pastors who mobilize their flock to overturn local non-discrimination ordinances, county clerks who refuse to issue same-sex marriage licenses and anti-abortion centers that trick women into thinking they're walking into actual medical clinics.

Initially, Trump nominated former First Liberty Institute lawyer Jeff Mateer for a federal judgeship in Texas, along with Kacsmaryk. Mateer's nomination failed after a 2015 speech surfaced in which he called transgender kids "Satan's spawn" and part of "Satan's plan."

Kathy Miller of the Texas Freedom Network, an organization that advocates for the separation of church and state, called Kacsmaryk's and Mateer's nominations "a clear signal that President Trump intends to make our federal courts the place where civil rights go to die."

Only the best people.

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Culture Wars

Bible-Banging Buffoon Blasts Boston-Married Bulldaggers, Bronies


Ken Ham, the Australian loonypants who runs the "Creation Museum" and the "Ark Encounter" in Kentucky, has found himself something new to be upset about! It seems this weekend, the animated TV series My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic will introduce its first officially gay characters, and Ham is very, very upset -- as you'd expect from a dude who lit up his fake Noah's Ark in rainbow colors (to steal rainbows back from the gays) and thinks that if Miley Cyrus says she's gender fluid, she may as well go do sex to barnyard animals. So Ham took to the Twitters to warn parents to be careful buying toys during June, lest they get The Gay all over them.

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​US Embassies Cramming Pride Flags Down Mike Pompeo's Dumb Gay-Hatin' Throat


Hey, remember at the beginning of June, when Donald Trump's staff wrote some nice gay Pride tweets, and everybody was like "HAHA FUCK YOU," because Trump has been an absolute piece of shit president for LGBT people, banning trans people from serving in the military and fucking around with adoptions by same-sex parents, and elevating severe anti-gay bigots like Vice President Mike Pence and Secretary of State Mike Pompeo to positions of power?

Yeah, about that.

News came out at the end of last week that, breaking with tradition, the State Department has been rejecting requests from embassies around the globe who wanted to let their big gay flags fly for Pride, because goddammit, this is America, land of the free and home of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

And why?

The Obama administration's Pride Month guidelines included rules for flying rainbow flags from poles outside embassies — they had to be smaller than the American flag and fly beneath it. But permission was granted with no fuss. By 2016, approvals were left up to each ambassador or chief of mission.

That process changed last year, after Mike Pompeo became secretary of state. An evangelical Christian who believes marriage should be defined as between a man and woman, Pompeo has said gay employees will be respected and treated like everyone else. But he has downplayed some symbols of LGBT rights, while introducing several new panels and envoys specializing in religious freedom issues. [...]

Embassies in Israel, Germany, Brazil and Latvia, plus a handful of other posts, asked to fly rainbow flags. All were denied, said a person at the State Department who was familiar with what happened.

That's right, because FUCK YOU, MIKE POMPEO, fucking hayseed bigot. Not only is Pompeo's State Department launching a new "human rights" panel (pretend quotes intentional) with more of a focus on "natural law," which is religious right Newspeak for "God hates fags," he just really doesn't want any of those stinky rainbow flags hoisted up on flagpoles at American embassies abroad, because he doesn't want those countries to get the idea that America is some kind of liberal democracy or anything.

Good news, though, because the #Resistance is apparently alive and well in some of our embassies, at least. All the major Fake Newses are reporting that all over the globe, career staff are going ahead and gaying it up anyway, because for serious, what is Secretary Dumbfuck gonna do about it? The rule that came down said no gay pride flags on official flagpoles, but Mike Pompeo didn't say anything about the sides of buildings or spelling out "AMERICA LUVS DICK" in the rhododendrons, now did he?

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Glenn Greenwald, Tucker Carlson Agree: Gay Guy Should Stop Gaybashing Bully's Knuckles With His Face

For the Constitution.

Lazy hate comic Steven Crowder has spent years harassing Vox's Carlos Maza on YouTube for reasons only his therapist knows for sure. Crowder thinks it's either very funny or very uncomfortable that Maza is gay, so he's targeted "The Strikethrough" host with vile homophobic slurs we won't repeat here. That's entertainment! Or at least that's his excuse for behaving like a grade-school bully. Crowder's fans join in on the "fun," and Maza endures constant harassment on social media. Maza detailed the daily ordeal on Twitter last week, and YouTube investigated the matter as thoroughly as Bill Barr read the Mueller Report.


You know how the cable company's automated recording claims "your phone call is important to us" while keeping you on hold for an hour? That's how seriously YouTube took Maza's complaints. TeamYouTube even responded directly to a thread where Maza concedes that YouTube probably won't do anything, because it hasn't before, even though YouTube has explicit policies against harassment and bullying.

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