You wanna talk about grooming? OK let's do it.
The One Million Moms — you know, that dickhead cranky troll person in Tupelo, Mississippi, named Monica Cole, who spends her days scouring the TV to see if it has a penis bulge or if somebody says "boobyknockers" — saw a commercial. And it had lesbians in it. And those lesbians had good credit.
So that was a good opportunity for Monica Cole to get on the computer and scream I OBJECT!
Joe.My.God shares the transcript of this email Monica Cole sent about the Credit Karma ad with the lesbyterians with the good credit. He notes the commercial is not on YouTube, so we should at least allow for the possibility that Cole is raging about a commercial she saw in her dream.
Credit Karma continues to normalize the LGBTQ lifestyle with its liberal advertising choices. The company’s most recent ad, “Limo Valet,” focuses on a pregnant character (a former limo driver) and her current home life with her lesbian partner. They are living in cramped quarters, which must change before the birth of their baby. Because the lesbian couple is able to monitor and raise their credit score, they have the means to move into a larger space for the family of three to call home. The commercial ends with the two lesbians sitting on the floor playing with their baby in their new home.
Promoting same-sex relationships has nothing to do with marketing a product. Instead of remaining neutral in the culture war ...
OK, fuck this vile garbage. We're not going to make fun of this line by line like we usually do, we're going to say something important.
We still die laughing every time we hear unhinged freak bigots like Cole demand companies "remain neutral in the culture war." The entire reason the Right is lashing out screaming and calling people "groomers" right now is because they lost the culture years ago and are never getting it back. They're weeping and wailing and passing heinous "Don't Say Gay" laws and getting more and more violent because they know their kids are learning outside the home about the existence of gays and lesbians and transgender people, and their kids are getting messages from the entire culture that say LGBTQ people are fine and good and worthy and wonderful.
And they can't do a fucking thing about it.
And they are furious about that.
Why? Because everything with rightwing Christians has always been projection. Wonder why they're calling people "groomers"? It's because fundamentalist Christians are the OG groomers. Ta-da! Asked and answered! Keep your children away from them!
Here's what we mean by that:
When Cole says Credit Karma isn't "remaining neutral in the culture war," what she's saying is that fundamentalist Christian parents like herself are trying really hard to groom their own kids at home to make them into vicious little bigots like their parents, and to make sure any of their own kids who are LGBTQ are groomed with an appropriate amount of religious fear and self-hatred, such that they'd never risk coming out and living as their true selves.
These garbage parents stupidly think there's an option available to them where if they hide the existence of LGBTQ people from their kids, and if they make sure society hides it from their kids, then there won't be any LGBTQ kids, at least in their households. This is what happens when you swallow too much of your own molten bullshit religious propaganda about how LGBTQ people became that way because they were abused, or because some adult "groomed" them.
LGBTQ kids exist. Tons of them come from fundamentalist Christian homes. They don't become that way because they're "exposed" to anything. They just are. We've been saying this for decades but they've never believed us. And now they're having a biiiiiig temper tantrum, because reality is slapping them in the face, as it's wont to do.
Companies like Credit Karma — and so many other people, entities, and Happiest Places On Earth! — are getting in the way of fundamentalist Christians' actual grooming of their children. (Useful here to note that fundamentalists tend to believe they own their kids, even once they're fully functioning adults.) If their kids can see an innocent commercial about lesbians on TV using Credit Karma to juice their FICO score so they can afford a bigger house for their family, they might absorb completely true and valid messages like "Some kids have two mommies!" and "That's fine!" and "Hey, lesbians, you want a new Subaru and also more square footage? Better fix your damn credit, girl!"
They also might get the message that these are happy, normal people, and there's no reason to be hateful to them like their parents are. And if these bigots' kids are LGBTQ — quietly dealing with their own truth in whatever way they can, as LGBTQ kids tend to do when they're living in abusive fundamentalist Christian homes, yes we said abusive fundamentalist Christian homes — they might see a light at the end of the tunnel and know there's a better life out there for them, if they can just survive long enough to get out of the hell they're being raised in.
That's why these rightwing Christians want to ban teachers from talking about it. They're not scared a teacher is going to give their kids a graphic sex lesson. That's a lie they're telling to cover up their real fears. What they're terrified of is that little Madisynne and Brooklynne might see a picture of a woman teacher's wife on their desk, just like a straight teacher might have a pic of their spouse on their desk, and come away thinking, "Oh, I guess Mrs. Johnson has a wife." You know, and not even have a homophobic freakout about it.
Worse, they're scared that if their own child is LGBTQ they might see that and be quietly comforted by the knowledge that Mrs. Johnson has a wife. Because you know who's a really cool teacher? Mrs. Johnson. (And you know what website can help Mrs. Johnson and her wife goose their credit so they can qualify to buy that lake house they've been wanting? That's right, Credit fuckin' Karma!)
That's called hope. And that hope is the negation of fundamentalist Christian grooming. It's also one of the worst enemies of a predator trying to keep control.
So that is the important thing we have to say about that.
But please, Monica Cole, tell us about more what happens to the One Million Moms' blood pressure when there's a nipple on the television, it's a real hoot.
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We'll just assume the GOP Asshole Caucus will ground the entire Air Force.
The US Air Force (and also the Space Force, too) announced last month, to little notice, that it will be offering help to servicemembers and their families if they're affected by the various anti-LGBTQ laws being passed by Republican-led states. Mind you, the Air Force hasn't mentioned anything openly partisan, because that's just not done. But the service did let its members know that the USAF is there to help with medical or legal assistance if they or their kids need it because of the new laws.
The press release puts it as apolitically as humanly possible, which may be why the offer of assistance hasn't gotten much press:
Various laws and legislation are being proposed and passed in states across America that may affect LGBTQ Airmen, Guardians, and/or their LGBTQ dependents in different ways.
The Department of the Air Force has assignment, medical, legal and other resources available to support Airmen, Guardians and their families.
Probably a good idea to not name any states or specific laws, or even to say the laws are discriminatory; there's little chance, though, that servicemembers worried about the laws' effects on their families aren't plenty aware of what's going on in states where they're stationed.
HuffPo notes that the Air Force is the only military service — so far — to offer such help. Undersecretary of the Air Force Gina Ortiz Jones makes clear in the announcement that it's a matter of making sure Air Force members get all the benefits of military service, regardless of what state they're assigned to:
The health, care and resilience of our DAF personnel and their families is not just our top priority – it’s essential to our ability to accomplish the mission. We are closely tracking state laws and legislation to ensure we prepare for and mitigate effects to our Airmen, Guardians and their families. Medical, legal resources, and various assistance are available for those who need them.
The announcement tells servicemembers to go to Air Force medical facilities if they "need help with screening, treatment, or mental health support for medical concerns." It diplomatically doesn't mention specific terrible policies like Texas GOP Gov. Greg Abbott's order that families be investigated for "child abuse" if they seek gender-affirming care for their minor children. (That policy has been put on hold by a judge's order for now.)
The memo also reminds servicemembers that on-base legal offices are a "free source of information for personnel who need assistance navigating new and existing local laws," although it also points out that the offices can't directly represent servicemembers or their kids in legal disputes. Still, they can "provide vital advice and council."
Also too, the Air Force lets its members know that if it comes to it, the service can help them get assigned to a different location through the "Exceptional Family Member Program." Again, the statement doesn't explicitly say that's what members should do if they're stationed in one of the 15 states that have banned or are considering bans on gender-affirming care. But again, Undersecretary Jones made it very easy to read between the lines:
As is the case with all of our family members, if the support a family member needs becomes unavailable, commanders can work to get the service member to an assignment where their loved ones can receive the care they need.
This is all remarkably smart and thoughtful of the Air Force, and a pleasant change from the days when the USAF — and the Air Force Academy in particular — seemed to be a wholly-owned subsidiary of Fundagelical Jesus Inc.
The LGBTQ rights group Human Rights Campaign is glad to see it. Spokesperson Delphine Luneau told HuffPo,
"Like any good employer, the Air Force is taking steps to support their service members and their families.”
Luneau added, “We hope service members and their family members who are being affected by the wave of discriminatory legislation in many state legislatures will take advantage of the supportive services that the Air Force is offering, and HRC will continue working toward the repeal of these terrible laws.”
A USAF spokesperson told HuffPo that the service hadn't yet fielded any requests for legal help, and added that if there's been any uptick in Air Force members or their families using counseling or mental health services, that can't be measured because the Air Force doesn't track it — which seems to us like probably a good privacy thing?
As of yet, GOP Rep. Matt Gaetz hasn't yet attempted to defund the Air Force for treating its LGBTQ+ members like human beings, but we have little doubt he or one of the other rightwing jerks who say the hell with the troops will insist the Air Force stop being so woke, or on autoeroticpilot, or some damn thing.
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Telling kids to accept themselves? Clearly gay indoctrination!
The Angry Parents of America are reaching new depths of stupid in their fight to cleanse schools and libraries of anything that might be LGBTQ propaganda, and that now appears to include children's books that promote self-acceptance without directly saying anything about teh ghey. Case in point: Children's book author and illustrator Jason Tharp was informed last week by a school principal in Delaware, Ohio, that he would not be allowed to read his book It's OK to Be a Unicorn at a scheduled school event last Thursday.
The book was the subject of complaints from local parents who believed it was gay propaganda, although there's no mention of sexuality or relationships in the picture book, which is aimed at early elementary kids, who may be polluted by its message of acceptance and support for diversity. That's pretty rich coming from a town that's clearly confused about its own identity, trying to be both Delaware and Ohio at the same time.
In addition to being told not to rea his unicorn book at the school event, Tharp says he also received an email telling him he also couldn't read another book he'd written with a message about self acceptance, It's OK to Smell Good, about a skunk who weirdly prefers nice flowers to normal nasty smells like limburger cheese and canned farts. But ... that challenges social norms!
It's like this Tharp guy is some kind of crazy "do your own thing" radical! Mr. Tharp is himself from central Ohio, but he should know damn well that this is America, where we color inside the lines and agree with everyone else like we're supposed to.
At least until someone tries to make us not spread a deadly virus, but that's different.
The Buckeye Valley School Board held an emergency meeting Friday at which pretty much all the speakers actually supported Tharp and the unicorn book. Kay Brazelton, who works at one of the district's elementary schools, said she and coworkers were told to take down kids' artwork related to the book.
“I was simply confused and people were taking stuff down and…they said we had to take anything down with unicorns and rainbows,” Brazelton said.
Interim Superintendent Jeremy Froehlich — who doesn't seem cheerful to us at all — told WBNS-TV that a parent had expressed concerns about the book, and that the parent "just wanted to make sure that we vetted the book and our staff thought that they had vetted it,” and no, Froelich didn't explain why a single complaint led to Tharp's being told not to read his books to children or kids' pictures being Fahrenheit 451ed. He also doesn't appear to have said how the book would be vetted or when it might be safe for Tharp to read his filth to innocent children, if ever.
Tharp said he attended the school event anyway, and that he made no mention of either book, adding that he was disappointed kids missed out on his usual presentation, which hasn't previously led to any controversy. Probably because parents never before noticed that clearly gay unicorn on the cover before.
TV station WSYX said it had received several tips from people who believed Unicorn was promoting gayness, because the cover has rainbow lettering and unicorns are gay, they just are. After all, there were no homosexuals in America prior to Lisa Frank Trapper Keepers, this is a known fact.
The story is about a unicorn haberdasher, Cornelius J. Sparklesteed, who hides his horn under various hats he makes, because all the horses in his town have weird prejudices against unicorns. Cornelius has lots of friends, and at the town's annual festival, he wows everyone with his dance moves, then removes his hat, revealing that he actually is a unicorn. After a moment of confusion, everyone CHEERS, realizing that if someone as wonderful as Cornelius is a unicorn, then clearly they were wrong, and they even start wearing fake unicorn horns for fun.
Here's a nice video from the Benicia, California, Public Library, with children's librarian "Caroline" reading the book, with permission from the publisher, Macmillan:
Well gosh, if that's not a very sneaky story trying to propagandize children into coming out as gay, then what else could it possibly be?
Also, so freaking what if it were a coming out fable, because the story also works just fine as a parable of
- Someone revealing to their Baptist parents that they're dating someone who's Jewish
- A music fan telling all their metalhead friends that they like free jazz
- A My Little Pony fan bravely admitting they think Applejack is Best Pony, however wrong that may be
- Anyone acknowledging anything they're not sure others are going to accept
In fact, just about the only thing it couldn't be about would be a conservative bravely revealing their politics to their liberal friends, because everyone knows The Left would react not with love and tolerance, but by cancel culturing such a person. Or by brutally murdering them and eating their corpse live on MSNBC, as Rachel Maddow smiles approvingly from her Throne of Doom.
Or maybe it's an even more general message about self-acceptance, as Tharp explained to WBNS:
“I think a book can save people cause it saved me when I was a kid,” Tharp said. “I got lost in books, and it taught me that it was okay to be creative, and it was okay to think different, and so that was what my mission was with this book was just to write something that helped kids understand it is good that you’re different than me, and it is good because we can learn something from each other. And a unicorn’s the best way to do it because kids love unicorns.”
The TV station points out that Tharp is a straight man who is married, presumably to a straight woman, as though that were any defense for his dangerous promotion of the idea that differences are good.
“I’m not here to entertain adults that want to project their own whatever issues onto a children’s book, I’m here to create books that inspire kids to dream big, embrace themselves, understand the importance of self-kindness, to really learn how to manage your emotions because it’s a confusing world we live in, and being a human is not easy,” he said. “If an adult is struggling, that’s what therapy’s for, not my kids’ books, and I hope that maybe even my kids’ books might inspire some adults, but they’re meant for the child to figure themselves out, just be a tool, that’s it.”
We feel compelled to point out what radical, un-American stuff that is. Messages of cooperation and kindness teach children to be weak. The real way to thrive is to defeat your enemies and rivals by any means available, because if you don't, they'll grind you into the dust. America is about winning, not a lot of pajama-boy soy-drinking unicorn-rainbow "I accept myself" crap. After all, no less an expert on America than Tucker Carlson has derided the notion of diversity, since anyone knows that cultural cohesion comes from similarity, not difference.
We urge the good God-fearing parents of Ohio or Delaware or Brigadoon or wherever they are to keep an eye on this divisive pro-unicorn propaganda. Decent, proud, hardworking horses already have a culture and a nation. Tharp's book clearly pushes the Great Hooved Replacement, in which effete homosexual unicorns will infiltrate and overwhelm the horses who built America, leaving the nation ripe for the plucking.
Ah, but who's behind all this?
Princess Celestia, of course. She's been plotting this for ages.
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LEARN ABOUT POLITICS, YALE KID.
A lot of folks are making something out of a question an oh-so-clever kid at Yale asked Ted Cruz this week. Cruz was there to do a live recording of his podcast, which he hosts with some idiot named Michael Knowles. And some whippersnapper named "Evan" got up to ask a question:
“Assuming it would end global hunger, would you fellate another man?” a student named Evan asked Cruz.
Evan. Can we call you "Evan," since it's our personal name, which means there's more than a 20 percent chance we won't forget your name by the end of this post?
Evan. Dear, sweet Evan. This is an inappropriate and incorrect question. Not for whatever reasons Ted Cruz didn't like the question, or that Michael Knowles didn't like the question. Knowles responded, "Like a typical leftwing undergraduate, you are engaging in consequentialist ethics." LOL, shut up you fuckin' dildo made out of human hair.
There were many laughs in the live studio audience, as Knowles said just a few too many words about how blowing guys is "flagrantly immoral." That was weird.
But it was still the wrong question.
Yale student: "Assuming it would end global hunger, would you fellate another man?"\n\nConservative commentator Michael Knowles says "absolutely not." Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) declines to answer.pic.twitter.com/Qeg7XJLfHF— The Recount (@The Recount) 1649788138
This question is inappropriate because of the suppositions it makes, namely that Ted Cruz cares if global hunger ends. A lawyer for opposing counsel would object and say "assumes facts not in evidence." To construct a question like this, you've got to make the carrot at the end of the tunnel something a reasonable observer would at least think Ted Cruz might really want, for the price of blowing some guys.
"Assuming Donald Trump would punch you in the face and spend the night with your wife afterward, would you blow a bunch of guys?"
We don't care why "Evan" constructed his question the way he did. We don't care if, as Knowles suggested, it was some reference to American Psycho. Our way is better.
And as if to prove that our way is better, Ted Cruz thought he was saying a gotcha afterward when he asked Evan, "If it would solve world hunger, would you vote for Donald Trump?"
So fuckin' sad, dude. And he doesn't even realize why it's sad, which is even sadder.
Another good construction for the question would be "assuming you got to vote for Donald Trump afterward, would you blow a bunch of guys?"
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