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Bloomberg has a nice piece about how new White House Chief of Staff John Kelly, Mister Marine Dude in the flesh, is kicking ass and taking names and turning the West Wing into the well-oiled machine it was always meant to be. He's meeting with White House staffers and ordering them not to be dirty leakers (that's Donald Trump's job!), he fired that dingbat Anthony Scaramucci, he's helped to keep National Security Adviser H.R. McMaster's job safe, and he's even set his sights on Trump's silly little Tweeter account:

While Kelly isn’t vetting every presidential tweet, Trump has shown a willingness to consult with his chief of staff before hitting “send” on certain missives that might cause an international uproar or lead to unwelcome distractions, according to three people familiar with the interactions. Kelly has been “offering a different way to say the same thing,” one person said.

Yeah? Then what is this please?

We don't think Trump consulted with his new military daddy chief of staff on those boring-ass #FakeNews tweets AT ALL. To be fair, that's a possibility Bloomberg allowed for:

Trump has made it clear, however, that he reserves the right to ignore advice on tweets.

That's more like it.

And guess where Trump is right now, away from the watchful eye of General Kelly? He is hunkered over his gold-plated pooping chair in his boudoir at Bedminster, because he is doing "working vacation" right now, which is different from all the other days of his presidency when he's pretending to "work" at the White House, because on "working vacation," the golf course is JUST OUTSIDE HIS WINDOW:

Trump's tiny hands must be just blistered and raw right now, from all the tweeting and golfing, tweeting and golfing. Oh and maybe he occasionally has to grab a pussy, which can be very taxing.

An hour after the Fake News tweets above, Trump played another one of this greatest hits, because long hair don't care, he is at Da Club and he doesn't have to do what that dumb Marine guy says, because that dumb Marine guy is not his real dad:

Spoken like a real American hero who got out of Vietnam service because his pinky toe was hurting that decade.

So that's eight tweets Monday morning, because General Kelly is really on Trump's ass and making him presidential 'n' stuff. (Actually, there were nine tweets in all, including one where he protested that he IS TOO doing work at Bedminster right now.)

As of press time, Donald Trump is probably splayed out on his bed in a #MAGA hat and a robe, flashing his beef grundle to the wind while he watches whatever Fox News is showing. After that, maybe he will find some time for some golfing, or maybe he will eat some slices of burnt baloney slices for lunch.

Don't bother him, HE IS WORKING.

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[Bloomberg]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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