Oh, hey, never mind, no harm, no foul. After a confrontation in Lake Mary, Florida, on Monday, in which he allegedly threatened his "estranged wife" Shellie (there's a term you only see in journamalism), George Zimmerman is not in jail, Shellie Zimmerman is not pressing charges, and the whole story is getting the full-Rashomon dissection that you'd pretty much expect with anything involving George Zimmerman. No word yet on whether the Zapruder film will be made available. Or whether Shellie was wearing a hoodie and armed with a sidewalk.

In her call to 911 (autoplay video at link), Shellie Zimmerman told the dispatcher that George had punched her father in the nose, and that he

"[has] his hand on his gun and he keeps saying step closer."

"Step closer and what?" a dispatcher asks.

"And he's going to shoot us," Shellie Zimmerman replies.

Later, though, Lake Mary Police Chief Steve Bracknell told the Orlando Sentinel that Shellie Zimmerman told officers at the scene that she didn't actually see a weapon; neither she nor her father wanted to press charges. "We have no victim, no crime," he said. Or maybe a victim of domestic violence who decided not to press charges -- because that NEVER happens -- which is kind of a different thing, and you'd think a police chief would know that.

And now, we need a fancy wavy-screen effect for the flashback from George Zimmerman's perspective -- but it's mostly blurry, with only a vague comment from Lake Mary police officer Zach Hudson that George Zimmerman said that Shellie and her father were the aggressors, but no details. Zimmerman's attorney, Mark O'Mara, told the Sentinel that Zimmerman had a gun "holstered under his shirt, and it stayed there the whole time." He also said that Zimmerman didn't threaten Shellie, hadn't punched her father, and that what Shellie Zimmerman said during the 911 call was merely

"heightened emotions... There may have been some pushing and touching. That happens a lot in divorce situations ... Nobody was injured.”

Of course, threats and gun-waving and actual shootings happen in divorce situations, too, plus, this is Florida after all. O'Mara declined to offer any knock-knock jokes on the incident.

Oh, and there may actually be some Zapruder film after all; the AP reports that

Prosecutors could still build a case based on surveillance video from cameras outside the house and also video from the squad cars of officers who responded. Florida law allows police officers to arrest someone for domestic violence without the consent of the victim.

So who knows? Is there a chance that the video will only show people standing around and yelling at each other, with no conclusive information, but that it will provide fodder for endless online ranting about what it obviously proves? Hahaha, this is a story about George Zimmerman, isn't it?

And finally, the best detail from the whole sorry mess, from the LA Times story:

The news of Zimmerman's detention Monday went viral and caused a stir at the Lake Mary Police Department, which serves a town of 14,574 people. The police have been deluged with phone calls from the media asking about the incident.

“Man, it would be fantastic if you have an apartment out there [in Los Angeles] for George Zimmerman," Bracknell, the police chief, told The Times. “This guy is killing me. We’re just a small-town police department -- this really taxes us."

As we prepared to post this story, we have no word yet on just how badly the Los Angeles area real estate market will be depressed by this prospect.

[Orlando Sentinel / Washington Post / LAT]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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