Georgia GOP Senate Candidate Paul Broun Fears IRS Papercut More Than Al Qaeda, Because They Are Same Thing
Do you cower in fear at the beginning of every April, with that fear intensifying until the middle of the month, when you have a nervous breakdown and open that Y2K bunker you stupidly built but now only use once a year? Because as we all know, the middle of the April is when the Tax Man Cometh, and HE IS TO BE FEARED!!!1! But just in case you were wondering how much fear you should be in, rat-faced, science-denying, goat-blowing ass-fer-brains Congressman Paul Bro un (R-GA, natch) wants to ensure the maximum amount offear about the IRS:
In a recent poll for his Senate campaign, Rep. Paul Broun (R-GA.) compares the Internal Revenue Service to a terrorist group, asking voters, “When you go to your mailbox or answer your phone, who do you fear more?” The poll, posted on Broun’s campaign website, lists “IRS” and “Al-Qaeda” as the two possible responses.
Because thousands of people dying in a fiery collision of planes and buildings is totally the exact same thing as paper-pushers in Cleveland asking for more information so you can get government-sanctioned tax welfare. This is exactly what people meant when they said, “Never Forget.” Plus, why would anyone be afraid of the IRS at their mailbox? Is the IRS sending pipebombs in the mail, and if so, is Rep. Broun is keeping this secret from us? And does Al-Queda make phone calls now? Would the conversation go like this:
Patriotic American (PA): Hello, this is Uncle Sam
Al-Queda (AQ): Hello, infidel. I was calling to inquire if your refrigerator is running.
PA: Ummm, yes….
AQ: Then you better catch it. Hahahahaha, also, too, I will try to kill you because I am a terrorist.
PA: Is this the IRS again?
AQ: You give me a sad you stupid American infidel.
Rep. Broun has a long and storied history of derpsplaining issues to the 'merican people in ways that are easy to understand once you dismiss things like facts, data, reason, and both your right and left brain hemispheres.
At a Republican and Tea Party gathering outside the capitol in May, Broun made it clear that he strongly opposes the IRS’s conduct. “It is the strong arm of the government that is trying to affect elections, to try to stop the freedom of speech that we are guaranteed under the First Amendment, and all Americans should just shudder and shiver at the prospects of a government out of control, too big, spending too much money,” Broun said.
Just to be clear, there was no stopping of freedom of speech. Even with added scrutiny over paperwork, Tea Party groups had no trouble bloviating their soul-depressing freedom-vomit all over the airwaves all the goddam time at every venue possible. Seriously, you couldn’t walk around DC in the summer of 2010 without tripping over some middle-aged white non-racist wearing a tinfoil tricorner hat and yelling at government buildings about the debt that Kenyan socialist Marxist un-American Pres. Obama was reducing and the taxes he was lowering, because facts and data don’t matter when you play dress-up in the nation’s capital! If the IRS restricted their speech, Fox News would have had nothing to cover in that summer, and would have been forced to focus on things like actual news.
But let’s cut Rep. Broun some slack, because it’s not like he has a history of comparing people he doesn’t like to actual terrorists who kill people, does he?
Of course, the poll is not the first time Broun has made controversial comparisons or remarks. In 2001, he compared progressive Americans to Al-Qaeda, saying “the progressives and the socialists” want to “destroy [America] from the inside.”
In case all this doesn't make you want to get out your checkbook and donate to his campaign, remember that this is the same guy who said, "evolution and embryology and the Big Bang Theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of Hell." Unfortunately, neither Sheldon nor Walowitz could be reached for comment.
People of Georgia, welcome to your future. And you thought you couldn’t get worse that Saxby “Boys Will Be Rapey Boys” Chambliss. As this guy runs for the Senate in Georgia, Yr Wonkette can only hope that he continually speaks loudly and clearly, because he is definitely in the running for the 2014 Candidate Shitmuffin Award.