Get Your Sexy Bernie Sanders T-Shirts Now, To Put On Your Dadbod!
At the end of May, we made a big announcement, and it was that Wonkette husband Shypixel had designed a crazy sexy cool new Bernie Sanders 2016 T-shirt, and that you could pre-order them, to put on your body parts. Well guess what? THEY ARE HERE NOW! And you can see that they are here, because look at that picture, that is Shy, and he is wearing the T-shirt, on his dadbod, which he just renewed for another million years, by doing the sperm to Editrix Becca that caused her to have a baby Thursday night!
Don't YOU want to look that sexy, on your dadbod, by having Bernie Sanders on it? (Sexiness quotient also applies to putting Bernie on your tits.) It's only $22, and that includes free shipping! And really, this is a good week to bring some Bernie into your wardrobe, what with all these rich ass fuckers like Jeb Bush and Donald Trump saying "ME TOO, I WANT TO BE PRESIDENT TOO."
So here is how you get that T-shirt, to incinerate everyone with your hotness next time you stroll through the Big Lots:
2. Pick out your size! They are in men's sizes, because the ladies' sizes were crazy small, so figure it out. Sorry for extra work!
3. Pick out the color you want. You can have any color you want, as long as it's "black."
4. Now put it in your "shopping cart," and proceed to checkout. Do you want free shipping? OF COURSE YOU WANT FREE SHIPPING. Just type FreeShipping (one word) where it asks if you have a coupon.
5. Place your order. Voilà! Just wait a few days and you, too, will be blowing everybody away with your sexiness. OR MAYBE THEY'LL BE BLOWING YOU. Or lady-blowing you, however THAT works.
Already bought your Bernie T-shirt? Well, aren't you special. Maybe it's time to start thinking about War On Christmas gifts for your friends or your parole officer or your cats, it's never too early to get a head start.