Ghost Breitbart Exposes Clay Aiken's Record Of Threatening To Punch Ann Coulter In The Face
We learn all sorts of interesting things by reading Dead Breitbart's Newshole for Scabies-Blighted Ragemonkeys, like for instance that minor congressional candidate and former American Idolater Clay Aiken is liberals' "favorite congressional candidate in North Carolina," which we have to admit is a pretty small population to start with. Breitbart horcrux John Nolte advises us that diligent Citizen Journalist"SooperMexican" has posted a reminder that back in 2012, Aiken tweeted a mean thing, and then deleted the tweet to hide his shame. Here is the unspeakable thing that Aiken tweeted:
"anyone else watching @piersmorgan want to punch Ann Coulter in the face?”
Instead of following that with "Honestly, doesn't everyone? But one must be civilized," the Breitbartian goes on to condemn the Democrats' "war on women" blahblahblah. Because, you see, Democrats are all hypocrites who secretly want to beat women senseless!
Nolte, who has difficulty recognizing that Skittles ads don't really advocate walrus-fucking, goes on to shake his head with great disappointment and intone,
Thus far, I've seen nothing in the mainstream media about Aiken's desire to assault a woman.
He also is saddened by the obvious double standards in the lamestream media:
When an obscure Republican Senate candidate named Todd Akin said something dumb about rape, the media attacked him, Romney and the GOP straight through to election day in 2012.
It is a safe bet that this particular Akin will get a total pass from the very same objective, unbiased, and not-at-all-liberal media.
We suppose that we could point out that Aiken's tweet -- which yes is in verypoortaste -- was a "joke" made by someone "watching TV" and not a candidate's justification for a particular policy, while Akin (ooh, the parallels are so obvious!) was a Senate candidate explaining why there's no need to include an exception for rape in an abortion ban, but that is obviously just a lot of liberal excuse-making. Instead, we must Take Very Seriously the idea that, in SooperMexican's artful phrasing, this is an example of "how liberals look the other way when a Democrat is caught advocating violence on women."
In conclusion, we look forward to John Nolte's condemning us for advocating that he ingest an entire bag of toxic rodent phalli. We are just monsters.
Also, the comments on Nolte's article do not include a single homophobic slur against Aiken, which is nice. How could he punch her with that limp wrist, haw-haw-haw!
Happily, we are confident that Wonkette commenters would never descend to such played-out cliches as making jokes about "adams apple" or "Mann Coulter," because remember you are Better Than That. We will also remind our Terrible Ones of the Rules for Commenting Radicals, because oh God, we know you're going to need them on this one.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.