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Gingrich Makes Sad, Cheap Campaign Ad to Prove He Needs Money

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Vainglorious turd blossom Newt Gingrich is running out of wealthy dupes to write him checks allowing him to prolong his hilariously doomed book-tour candidacy, so he is out with a tragic new campaign ad, which as one can see from the screen grab mostly features Newt begging for treats like a dazed zoo seal performing his one trick "standing around seeming visionary" for Callista's smartphone camera. Humiliating video after the jump!


We did not watch past the first fourteen seconds of this, so it's possible he announces he is dropping out of the race at the end, or maybe it even has some images of him swapping spit with his new mistress, Rick Perry. Let us know if that is the case.

Will a cheap, poorly edited ad help Newt Gingrich win the race? "Mr. Gingrich has put little effort into building a network of fund-raisers, focusing instead on the debates," rules the New York Times. So NO, the end. [YouTube/New York Times]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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