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Girl Park Ranger Joins Pantheon Of Superheroes! Your Weekly Top 10!

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See that? That's Donna Rose's "Girl Park Ranger," who this week joined the Pantheon Of Superheroes. Park Ranger and Batgirl and Wonder Woman are friends!

Evan is still out "sick," and we are at our mama's, so we gonna make this sucker SHORT and SWEET, JUST LIKE US. What were the most popular Wonkette stories this week as chosen by ME like a common Beyonce? Oh, just these. I feel like the titles are self-explanatory, don't you?

1. Classy Obamas Rescue Poor Abandoned Melania Trump, Whose Husband Is A Gross Mean Jerk!

2. Chicago To Trump: Go Fuck Yourself!

3. Guys, White House Spokesman Sean Spicer Has Lost His Freaking Mind

4. The Women's March Didn't Represent This One Lady So Let's All Pack It In Now

5. Our Long National Nightmare Beginneth Today! Liveblogging Donald Trump's Inauguration Help Us Jesus!

6. Uppity Women Marching Against Trump’s American Carnage: Your Wonkette Livebloog

7. Dad And Son Accused Of Raping Teen Girl Will Base Defense On Bible, As One Does

8. Nutbag Sheriff David Clarke Went To The Women's Riot And All He Got Was These Hurt Fee-Fees

9. Was It A Good Idea For Tennessee Yarn Shop Owner To Piss Off Feminist Knitters, Y/N?

10. Dickhole Smegma-Face Jason Chaffetz Needs A Manners Lesson, And Wonkette Is Just The Blog To Give It To Him

You did a very good job reading stories this week! Have some baby pictures from the Women's March and elsewhere. (Mostly the homes of your fellow Wonkers whom we graced with our presence!) Oh, also, it is going to be $8,000 to fix the Wonkebago, and the extended warranty people aren't going to cover it, because something about "30,000 miles without oil changes" but Shy says he did do oil changes but like he is going to keep a receipt!

So you know the drill: SEND US YR MONEY! And we will continue to do things like "go to the Women's March" and "buy you beer" and "love you" and "finally send out the 150 thank you notes we still owe from September, just see if we don't!"

Now remember: MONEY PLEASE! Okay bye.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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