Girl Scouts Show Obama Science Projects He Did Not Build

  • Hide the kids, President Obama is trying to make them care about science again, what a jerk. And worse, he wants to spend YOUR MONEY to do it:

    As part of the Fair, President Obama will announce over $240 million in new private sector commitments to get more girls and boys, especially those that are under-represented, inspired, and prepared to excel in the STEM fields. With the commitments being made today, the President’s “Educate to Innovate” campaign has resulted in over $1 billion in financial and in-kind support for STEM programs.

    The president welcomed these young scientists who should be at homeschool reading the Bible instead by bossing them around with a bunch of rules, according to his remarks released via email by the White House on Monday, like "no taking your robots or electric go-karts for a spin on the South Lawn," and "if you’re going to explode something, you have to warn us first. ...Actually, just don’t explode anything." No explosions at the White House? Unfair!

    This is our fifth White House Science Fair. And every year, I walk out smarter than I walked in, because these young people have something to teach all of us -- not just about batteries, or attacking cancer cells, or how to build a working robot or a rocket. I will say, though, the robots I see keep getting smarter every year. We are keeping an eye on that, by the way. (Laughter.) You’re on notice, Skynet.

    Then he just flat-out started trolling all those "I'm not a scientist" members of Congress:

    But these young scientists and engineers teach us something beyond the specific topics that they’re exploring. They teach us how to question assumptions; to wonder why something is the way it is, and how we can make it better. And they remind us that there’s always something more to learn, and to try, and to discover, and to imagine -- and that it’s never too early, or too late to create or discover something new.

    That’s why we love science. It’s more than a school subject, or the periodic table, or the properties of waves. It is an approach to the world, a critical way to understand and explore and engage with the world, and then have the capacity to change that world, and to share this accumulated knowledge. It’s a mindset that says we that can use reason and logic and honest inquiry to reach new conclusions and solve big problems. And that’s what we are celebrating here today with these amazing young people.

  • Guess Starbucks solved racism:

    After a mere seven days, Starbucks wrapped up its widely-mocked "Race Together" campaign that encouraged baristas to strike up conversations about racial issues with customers.Company spokeswoman Laurel Harper told the New York Times that the sudden end had nothing to do with the wave of criticism and ridicule the initiative met online and in the media.

    “Leading change isn’t an easy thing to accomplish," she told the paper.

  • Is this a trick question?
  • BRB, throwing up:

    There are superyachts. And then there are superyachts for "ladies."

    Introducing La Belle, the 80-meter gold and crystal-encrusted superyacht described as a floating "boudoir for women," by its female designer.

    "There will not be any boy's toys -- such as pool tables or beer kegs -- on board," Italian designer, Lidia Bersani, told CNN.

    "But there will be a fantastic spa with a beauty center, large mirrors, and huge wardrobes," she said of the concept yacht, which she claims is the first designed specifically for women.

  • Looking for the latest bewb tube shenanigans and snarky recaps of your favorite teevee shows, especially how many damn kids the Duggars are counting today? Go show some love to our gone-but-not-forgotten kid sister Happy Nice Time People. And be sure to follow Happy Nice Time People on Twitter.

[Image via Pete Souza]


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