All this bruhaha about the conditions at Gitmo. Look, the detainees have never been denied fruit. Water, maybe, trials, definitely. But they've got more fruit than Miami Beach. Also, apparently, a beautiful view. Yesterday Sen. Jeff Sessions, R- Ala., "expressed impatience at Democrats who called for more legal rights for detainees. He said the newly constructed facility at Guantanamo was on 'a beautiful site' and 'would make a magnificent resort.'" Of course! A resort! With, uhm, very late check-out: "As for the detainees held there, 'some of them need to be executed,' Sessions said."
We look forward to the t-shirts: "My daddy went to Gitmo and all I got was this lousy t-shirt because he's dead now." — WONKETTE
UPDATE: Rush has the less morbid but just as hilarious version: "My Mullah went to Club G'itmo and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt." He's funny, that Rush. Constitutional rights are for dope heads!