Glenn Beck And Tomi Lahren Face Off In Court, Nation Prays For Meteor To Strike Them Both

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It all started so well for Tomi and Glenn. She was a 23-year-old attention fiend with the long, peroxided hair and sleeveless dresses required by the Wingnut Code. He was a middle-aged, Mormon media mogul just looking to get richer by feeding conspiracy theories to dimwits. They could have made beautiful music together! So in 2015, they signed a two-year deal for her to make arglebargle an hour a day on The Blaze, plus extra nonsense-vomiting on social media and television.


Lahren hit the ground running, slagging Colin Kaepernick, Black Lives Matter, and Beyonce's Super Bowl show. But then...

On March 17, Lahren got overwhelmed by the estrogen fumes on the set of The View and outed herself as pro-choice!

I am a constitutional, y’know, someone that loves the Constitution. I’m someone that’s for limited government. So I can’t sit here and be a hypocrite and say I’m for limited government but I think the government should decide what women do with their bodies. I can sit here and say that, as a Republican and I can say, you know what, I’m for limited government, so stay out of my guns, and you can stay out of my body as well!

Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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