Guys, we don't know if this is further evidence of Glenn Beck's broken brain, or if it's just in the script, or maybe yes all of the above. But it's classic Glenn Beck, in that it sure seems like his brain is broken.

Apparently, we are not the only ones who read the super-incendiary interview with Barack and Michelle Obama in People magazine, in which they have the audacity to try to start a race war by talking about how they are black and how sometimes people treat them not so good, probably because they are black, because that happens in America sometimes, you know -- even if you are the president of it -- because [stage whisper] racism maybe. [contextly_sidebar id="NzEelJqnPOeYhCmavM8Ht1ROK5WbhXXK"]

Well, Beck don't give a flying flip about none of that. He's far more concerned about the real racism in America -- the kind under which Glenn Beck suffers because even Fox News didn't want him spouting broken-brain crazy talk and misspelling words on chalkboards. The kind that forces white Christian conservatives like him to go into hiding and have secret meetings -- in secret! -- about how they fear for their very lives because they vote for Republicans and Jesus.

"You want to talk about racism? You want to talk about bigotry?" Glenn spittles disbelievingly into his microphone, surrounded by a Christmas tree -- which is an extremely daring and dangerous move of him, considering how people like him live under such oppression -- and also a teeny tiny toy menorah and teeny tiny Jewish stereotype doll, apparently because Glenn Beck is just so all-inclusive and tolerant that way, unlike some actual racists.

To be honest, nah, we probably don't want to to talk about racism and bigotry with Glenn Beck, because then our brains will be broken too, but oh boy howdy, he is going to yell SO HARD at us about it anyway.

Let me ask you -- you tried being me? You tried being a conservative? You tried being a tea party member? You try being an actor that has to meet in secret because of their political or religious beliefs so people like you don’t blackball him [he gasps, dramatically]. Did I just say blackball? Yes I did.

Have you ever thought about being some of those actors that are afraid to say things around you because of the power that you and people like you wield? Let me ask you that.

Now that we think about it, it pretty much is exactly like that time someone asked the president, dressed in a tuxedo at a black-tie event, to fetch some coffee. Or, you know, that time people like Glenn Beck had rallies led by Glenn Beck to demand that the president be impeached or at least deported for stealing the White House, which clearly does not belong to him because DUH, like black people can even be president. [contextly_sidebar id="A9r5jX48xKR67DCnmzpXysmmMrysiayI"]

And another thing, while Glenn Beck's broken brain is on a roll. He's heard some blah blah about how it's supposedly so hard to be not-white in America and how you can't just up and change your skin color, and how maybe something should be done one of these days about racism in America. (One of these days. Not now, obviously.) Like that actor guy, Samuel L. Jackson, who recently dared his fellow celebrities to -- oh god, hide the children! -- sing a song to protest the definitely-not-racist killings of black men by white police officers.

"I can hear my neighbor cryin' 'I can't breathe'

Now I'm in the struggle and I can't leave

Calling out the violence of the racist police

We ain't gonna stop 'til people are free

We ain't gonna stop 'til people are free"

Yeah, well, Mr. L. Jackson, Glenn Beck doesn't want to hear your stupid song about racism or dead people executed by police who are allowed to get away with it because "I was a-scared of the black guy" is a perfectly legitimate legal defense in this country. Let Glenn Beck shout at YOU about what real racism is like.

Well, you can’t change the color of your skin? I CAN’T CHANGE WHAT I BELIEVE! I believe in God the almighty. I believe in the god of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. There’s nothing that I can do to change that. Sometimes, believe me, I don’t want to believe that. It’s not fun all the time. It’s not easy all the time. It doesn’t make you popular all the time. I can’t change it. It is who I am. It’s to the very fiber of my being. That’s who I am.

Do you think I wan to be a pariah? Do you think those people who work on the same sound stages as you don’t want to be popular? You think they want to meet in secret? I’ve met with some of them. I’ve been to some of their secret meetings. The Friends of Abe. Some of them are terrified of people like you. Don’t tell me about your problems, Samuel L. Jackson, with all of your leading roles. Shut the hell up.

Yeah! Grrr! Argh! Stuff! Shut the hell up, you black people, you don't know nothin' 'bout the real pain of bigotry. Why don't you stop all your whining about "police brutality" and "systemic discrimination" and "treating the president of the United States like a waiter" and think for just one second about the people who really suffer. Or at least shut the hell up.



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