There are actually no good screengrabs of Glenn Beck.

We at Wonkette are firm believers that even stopped clocks can be right twice a day. And we like to believe we are charitable and give credit where it is due, and moreover that we are Fair And Balanced. We are! All of those things! And it is in that spirit that we would like to recognize Glenn Beck, certified whacky-doodle-crazy-tears-guy, for having A Awakening, and realizing that yes, the rumors are true, and Black Lives Matter:

"You can't be as universally disliked as I am, and not do some soul-searching," said Beck at a news conference before his speech in Denver. "Well, unless you're Donald Trump."

Among Beck's revelations was that the Black Lives Matter movement had a point. Beck, like many conservatives, had criticized the movement as racist and exclusionary. He had led a march in Birmingham, Ala., on the theme of "All Lives Matter." His news site, The Blaze, had written dutifully about well-meaning people who said "All Lives Matter" and were hounded by the politically correct mob.


But since the police shootings in Dallas, where his programs are recorded, Beck had come to view "Black Lives Matter" differently.

"All of us are sitting around a table, and we're all friends," he said. "It's time for dessert, and everybody gets pie except for me and you. And you say, 'I didn't get any pie.' Everybody at the table looks at you and says 'I know. All pie matters.' You say, 'but I don't have any pie! What about my pie?'"

Beck's point was that white Americans simply did not understand what black people had been saying about police in America.

The "leaders" of the movement, he said, were "communists and anti-capitalists" whom he could never agree with. "But they're not the people walking behind them in the street," he said. "We're all speaking different languages and we need to talk to each other.

Dave Weigel lovingly shares this Vine of Glenn Beck yelling about how All Pie Matters:

You know, we feel like we have seen that All Pies Matter thing somewhere on the internet, perhaps in a meme. Let this be a lesson to you liberals -- before you think twice about sharing a meme, remember that Glenn Beck might be out there, and your meme about pies or cats or whatever might be the thing that pushes him over the edge. Now, this is Glenn Beck we're talking about, and usually when he gets pushed over the edge, it's into some kind of fever dream stupor, but MAYBE it will make him a kinder, more decent person.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]And we have to ask, what specifically it was about that awful week -- with the police shootings of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, immediately followed by the massacre of police officers in Dallas -- that seemed to finally start changing some white, conservative hearts and minds? Maybe the brutality was just so in everybody's faces that nobody could ignore it anymore. Whatever it was, we're at least glad that something seems to be changing. That very week, we posted thoughtful reactions published in the Daily Caller and on the RedState blog, and we were happy to do so. And now we have Glenn Beck.

Of course, everything is not hunky dory now, and Beck has not in fact solved racism. Dave Weigel points out the reaction of human trashfire Lee Stranahan over at the Dead Breitbart website, who found Beck's comments uncouth, in light of riots breaking out in Milwaukee this weekend. We're not going to quote anything Stranahan wrote, because fuck that jerk-off. Besides, this is a #NiceTime post, you already know what white racists think, and also too, this is a motherfucking family blog.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]So, let's close by adding this to the short list of times that Glenn Beck and his The Blaze website have been right about things. Like when they said it's OK for Obama to put his feet on the desk in the Oval Office, because fuck you is why. Or the time they reported a story about Common Core HONESTLY. Or when they dissected James O'Keefe's videos and found them to be bullshit. Or when they debunked a bunch of Sandy Hook conspiracy theories.

Or when they dared to expose Beyoncé for the dirty Illuminati lady she is. HAHA JUST KIDDING, that wasn't The Blaze being good, it was The Blaze being NAUGHTY.

And still, fuck Glenn Beck for saying John Lewis, Civil Rights hero, is now a Civil Rights clown, because he supports gun control.

But on this one thing, Beck is right. Black Lives Matter.

[Washington Post]


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc