Donate

Glenn Beck Says Obama's Not a Muslin But a Perverted-Christian Whatever

News

Prominent theologian Glenn Beck has been busy hanging streamers and making his favorite Metamucil-infused punch in preparation for this weekend's "Restoring Honor" rally, where he and Ted Nugent willreclaim the civil rights movement from the Ghost of Martin Luther King Jr. and riddle it with bullets. Beck says his festival is going to be "the Woodstock of the next generation," as well as "the anti-Woodstock." He's also calling the event an "American miracle," which sounds more credible than the Woodstock stuff given Beck's an expert on religion. Speaking of which, Beck recently said on his teevee program that Obama's not a muslin after all, but some kind of weirdo outsider Christian. Or maybe not a Christian at all?


Beck played an old Betamax of Obama -- a proclaimed United Church of Christ member -- saying, "My individual salvation is not going to come about without a collective salvation for the country." According to Beck, this is "not a Christian belief" but "liberation theology," which began with the Catholic churches in Latin America mid-last century, and is therefore rooted in Christianity, but is also strongly infused with Marxism-Communism, and is therefore also Satanic.

Beck further explained Obama's religious beliefs:

President Obama is not a Muslim. I'm taking his word that he is a Christian. But here's where it falls apart for many Americans: It's a Christianity that most Americans just don't recognize.

[ . . .]

You see, it's all about victims and victim-hood; oppressors and the oppressed; reparations, not repentance; collectivism, not individual salvation.

I don't know what that is, other than it's not Muslim, it's not Christian. It's a perversion of the gospel of Jesus Christ as most Christians know it.

You follow?

  • Obama is not Muslim.
  • Obama is a Christian.
  • Obama doesn't talk like a Christian, though, so he's not really Christian.

This exciting line of thinking seems to be gaining traction among folks on the right side of life. American Spectator contributor George Neumayr, for example, got up super-early this morning to write about how Obama is "a Relativist, Wrapped in a Muslim, Inside an Agnostic" -- a description that reminds your Wonkette of her favorite snack (a tofu dog, wrapped in fakin' bacon, inside a whole-wheat bun). Says Neumayr:

But perhaps he can be clinically described as a practicing agnostic, with deep roots in and sympathy for Islam, who views his now-professed, politically necessary religion with barely concealed disdain while allowing himself from time to time bursts of syncretistic sophistry and quasi-religious uplift. (OK, so did everybody else have to look up the word "syncretistic" in their dictionaries? Come on, be honest.)

Obama is more afraid of Glenn Beck's Christian friends than of Osama bin Lambada's radical-Islamic and Latin American liberation theologist friends, Neumayr says, which is why he is waging a culture war against Christianity along with film actor Tom Hanks (?). Luckily, America has folks like Beck and his pals fighting back to defeat Obama and take back the civil rights and the culture and our freedom, so that next year we can all beat each other up at next year's anti-Woodstockian "Restoring Honor Rally." [Media Matters for America/Glenn Beck Show/American Spectator]

$
Donate with CC

What's up fuckers? Were you waiting for me to come back from Mexico and write words at ya? Well, you know I don't write words at ya anymore, because of how I hate you, each, individually, but more importantly Trump has knocked all the words right out of my silly little lady brain.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

BONESAW WEEK WILL NEVER END! It's like Infrastructure Week, only stuff actually happens. And the stuff is all horrible! This morning, Saudi authorities indicted 11 suspects in the October killing of Jamal Khashoggi, announcing their intention to execute five of them. Despite copious evidence that the killing in the Turkish consulate was ordered by Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, lackeys are going to take the fall -- with their heads. And the US Treasury Department dutifully responded by imposing sanctions on 17 Saudis "involved in the abhorrent killing" of a legal US resident who was in the process of applying for citizenship. So, we're good now, yes? We can go back to selling them murder machines to kill Yemeni civilians?

And then SHIT GOT WEIRD.

NBC reports that the Trump administration is so desperate to resume normal relations with Jared Kushner's BFF MBS that they're trying to trade 77-year-old cleric Fetullah Gülen -- a lawful resident of Pennsylvania for 20 years -- to the Turkish government in exchange for them dropping the inquiry into the Khashoggi murder.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc