Glenn Beck Tired Of Wasting Life, Wants To Make Movies Or Be A Cowboy Astronaut Fireman
Looks like Glenn Beck is having another of his mood swings, and has decided that everything is terrible, he's tired of politics, and hejust wants out. We feel ya, Glenn (not literally, oh no, heavens no). It can get to be a drag, especially when approached with the manic, barking terrier intensity of a Glenn Beck. But we get why he's sick of it. It broke Ken Layne, after all. Maybe Glenn just needs to go out to the desert and commune with the tortoises for a while. He would probably get a lot out of that, FOR REAL.
But instead of politics, he thinks maybe he'll follow the example of Rick Santorum and make movies, because there's a low-stress job. Or maybe he'll just head up an apocalyptic death cult. No reason he can't do both, like his role model, Frank Capra.
In an interview with the Hollywood Reporter, he said that he's rehabbing a closed studio in Irving, Texas, where he's going to make some movies as part of his media empire.
Beck says he is developing three original stories as theatrical films -- one set in ancient history, one in modern history and a third he considers "faith-based" ... He adds that he has purchased rights to his 2008 best-seller The Christmas Sweater back from Sony and will turn the story into a movie for television or theatrical release.
Also, he is so completely legit going to make this a huge success, although he can't share any details just yet because it's a SECRET, like all those enormous news stories he was going to break that would change America forever, and probably did, but you were just looking elsewhere when it happened (for instance, no one but Beck and a few others remember the temporary presidency of Daniel T. Flintstone, but it happened, until Beck set it right). So while he can't share any specifics about budgets or who he'll be partnering with financially, rest assured it will be impressive.
"I bought a movie studio for a reason," he says. "I have every intent of finding great artists who will tell great stories that aren't typical. Everybody thinks they know who I am because of my stint on Fox -- that was two years of my life. I'm much more into culture than I am into politics, and that's where I intend on making my stand."
This would, of course, mark at least the 174th stand that Beck has made.
Still, he's got a good eye for entertainment, and having lived out a version of the Andy Griffith character from Elia Kazan's A Face in the Crowd, knows what makes for a good movie.
"Hollywood is missing this moment to reconnect with the American people because they don't speak the language," he says. "Some of it is out of spite -- they might not like people of faith."
For example, just compare the box office receipts for The Avengers with those for Rick Santorum's Christmas movie. Hollywood really missed the chance to broaden their audience by making Thor a pagan.
This is not to say that Beck intends to be preachy, although he said that thing about appealing to people of faith. He also cites as big favorites Moulin Rouge!, the 2010 version of True Grit, The Magnificent Seven and The Princess Bride, which we would really prefer that he not like, but there you go. He's also a huge fan of The Lego Movie, which he praises as
"tremendous storytelling and great for the whole family, without the double meanings and adult humor that I just hate. It was truly brilliant. I took everyone on my staff one afternoon to see it."
The only thing that might have improved it would have been if maybe the bad guy was George Soros, probably.
As for his current gig, the interview suggests that, as of whatever day he was talking, he's pretty much had it with politics:
"We're beginning to agree that Republicans and Democrats suck -- they've built this machine to grind people into the ground. I hate this stuff. I hate politics. I hate politicians and I feel like I'm wasting my life. Don't we all know what's happening? George W. Bush was taking us down a road, and Barack Obama is taking us down that same road. What difference does it make? I don't want to waste my life anymore."
Far be it from us to point out that maybe part of the reason politics is so awful is that Glenn Beck helped to load up that handbasket and carry it toward Hell.
We're also not sure how this story fits in with Beck's pledge to maybe leave politics behind and make the best fucking films, but it's probably worth mentioning that for the last couple days, he's been talking on his radio show about how he's been arguing with God and that all his prophetic visions for America are coming true. He can't say what it is, but it has begun, and it's going to be HUGE.
"It's going to get ugly...but now is the time. The Malcolm X/Martin Luther King time is here. It's here. It's happening"
This being Glenn Beck, that could pretty much be anything from a spaceship behind the comet, coming to take him away, or maybe he's got a cool idea for a movie about toys that come to life and form a Constitutional republic that gives God more respect than America does.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.