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Go Rand Paul! It's Primary Day In Kentucky, Arkansas, Pennsylvania & Oregon

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  • How excited are you for today's four-state super-sexy primary election? WELL THAT'S NOT ENOUGH, TRY AGAIN, THIS TIME WITH MORE EXCITEMENT. Doctor Rand Paul (son of Saint Paul, from the Bible) will likely/maybe beat the hell out of Mitch McConnell and Jim Bunning's unwanted love-child, Trey Grayson, while old Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter looks pretty likely to lose his seat to what's his name, the Sleestak. And according to increasingly weird emails we're getting from some group or another, Arkansas Sen. Blanche Lincoln will be the victim of a "midnight massacre," except it will be during the day, and instead of a massacre it will be an election. John Murtha is expected to lose his district, at least partially due to his death in February. The people of Oregon, meanwhile, will vote to change the state's name to "McMenamins." Everything that happens today will be a "bellwether" for what happens in November -- unless somebody just wins their seat again, that will mean "nothing at all." [Reuters/Washington Post]
  • Have you quit paying your mortgage even though you can afford to pay your mortgage? You are a "strategic default" person, and your neighbors still paying their mortgages are going to kill you for putting another foreclosure on their street. They're going to kill you tonight. [Marketwatch]
  • Barack Obama's sick old half-aunt from Kenya will be allowed to stay in her Boston housing project. And this kind of thing will continue unless we complete the danged wall, in Kenya or maybe Boston. [Boston Globe]
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What did we say this morning? Something about how "They want a war with Iran," and "Please do not listen to news reports about Trump telling his people to cool their jets with the Iran talk, because they want a war with Iran, and all they are looking for is their trigger"?

News came out early this morning that Iran shot down a US drone in the Strait of Hormuz, outside Iranian waters. Let's see what our president and his war-bonering GOP shitmouths in Congress have had to say about that:

Great. Just great. So what's happening now?

Awesome. Just splendid. Trump is having a cuddle party today with John Bolton (who's had a hard-on to bomb Iran since the Bush administration); Mike Pompeo (who's been making the rounds lying and saying Iran and al Qaeda are best friends, thus implying that it's very legal and very cool for Trump to strike Iran without congressional authorization, based on the Authorization for Use of Military Force (AUMF) Congress voted for five days after 9/11); and Patrick Shanahan, the outgoing acting Defense secretary, who will make way for another acting Defense secretary, because who needs real Defense secretaries? (The new guy, Mark Esper, is part of the meeting too.) And as Senator Schatz points out above, Trump is emotionally unstable and doesn't know dick about foreign policy, so it's just great that he's having an emergency meeting with these unhinged hawks about this right now.

Tell us what this all means, unhinged hawk Lindsey Graham!

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

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