God Is Talking To Cliven Bundy Again
Everyone's favorite deadbeat cattle rancher, Cliven Bundy, just got another message from God, and no, it is not to quit the Republican Party and join the Independent Libertarian Freedom Party of Freedom of Independence and Freedom, since he already did that. Nor is God texting him to share some thoughts he has about The Negro, who is less free now than in the good ol' slavery days.
No, this time God is murmuring in his ear to ... well, something:
"I have no idea what God wants done, but he did inspire me to have the sheriffs across the United States take away these weapons, disarm these bureaucracies, and he also gave me a little inspiration on what would happen if they didn’t do that," Bundy said Wednesday in an appearance on KUER’s "RadioWest." "It was indicated that ‘this is our chance, America, to straighten this problem up. If we don’t solve this problem this way, we will face these same guns in a civil war.’"
Don't you just hate when God is telling you to do stuff, but he leaves out the details? He told Moses to lead his people out of Egypt, and Noah and Steve Carell both got the "build a real big boat" note, but poor Bundy isn't quite sure what he's supposed to do, so he had to just guess that God wanted him to cheat the federal government out of more than $1 million in grazing fees and summon all his militia friends to threaten federal workers and tell them they should die and also threaten to rip off Harry Reid's balls. For freedom.
Even though his Fox News has forsaken him, Bundy is still fighting the good fight to tell the federal government it is not the boss of him because he simply does not recognize its authority.
He says he believes county officials hold the ultimate authority in the area — more than BLM agents or the president of the United States — and that federal agents shouldn’t be armed.
"RadioWest" host Doug Fabrizio said: "But you vote for the president."
Bundy countered: "Yeah, but I don’t give him authority to arrest me in Clark County."
Take that, Obama! Even though the federal government and everyone else has mostly moved on because Bundy is CRAY-CRAY, and also the BLM decided that risking the lives of the women the super brave militia menfolk were hiding behind as they shouted "Come 'n git us!" was not really worth taking Bundy's cattle away from him. Which, Bundy believes, proves that he is doing the Lord's work against the eeeeevil government, so there.
"If I broke some laws, why don’t they come and arrest me?" Bundy asked. "If I’m breaking laws, why did several hundred, maybe thousands, of people feel inspiration to stand with me. If I’m breaking laws of the land, then I would think the Lord wouldn’t be with us for one thing."
Sure, that's logical and reasonable, and God is definitely giving Bundy some great talking points. You can't possibly be guilty of breaking the law if a bunch of Rambo wannabes show up and brandish their guns in the faces of the federal workers who are trying to arrest you for breaking the law. It's in the Constitution or the Bible or something. Not sure, but maybe God will send another message soon to clear that up too.
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