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GOP Candidates Fight For Support of America’s Most Insane Racist

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The GOP is of course known generally as the "pro-genocide party" when it comes to illegal immigrants, but the field of GOP presidential candidates appears to beworried that America's dim racist slobs have not been able to connect them enough with this platform. "Hey," the Racist Slob Empire of Arizona whispered, "we've got a guy for that." Cue Sheriff Joe Arpaio, the deranged sociopath who builds sprawling desert concentration camps where he tortures other human beings for their failure to be white. GREAT. GOOD. This guy, he is the GOP presidential field's new boyfriend.


OR, should we say, they would all like to be his boyfriend, but hottest-girl-at-the-prom Joe Arpaio is still holding out.

From AP:

"They're all calling him," [Arpaio campaign manager Chad] Willems said, adding that Arpaio will take his time on deciding on making an endorsement. "They're all in a hurry of course."

In the meantime, Arpaio will brag about being a GOP slut, on Twitter. The Latino voters, they will love this! [AP/Twitter]

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On Monday, Gloria Vanderbilt -- socialite, jeans lady, and mom of Anderson Cooper -- passed away at the age of 95. In more normal times, this would merely result in a few obituaries and tributes about her life, and the requisite few RIP tweets.

Unfortunately, we do not live in normal times. These days, no celebrity can die without it becoming the purview of the crazypants QAnon cult, followers of which believe that no one ever dies under normal circumstances, especially not 95-year-old ladies.

Vanderbilt and her family were already something of an obsession with these people due to several "Q proofs" accusing her of doing magic spells, wearing magic illuminati owl necklaces, and [checks notes] doing something involving "red shoes," which the QAnon people think people only wear if they love sacrificing children to Satan.

Yes, this is a thing. No, I do not know if they are also mad at Elvis Costello.

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

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2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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