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GOP Finally Reveals New Idea: Look! Ladies! Look At All These Ladies!

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Ever since the GOP announced its latest new rebranding plan -- Ideas! We're Going To Have Some! -- we have been on the edge of our seat waiting to find out what their Ideas! will be. And thanks to this new failtastically funny ad, now we know. It is chicks, man. But in the good way.


We're the party that believes in opportunity. The party of empowerment. We're the change-is-needed party. The highly motivated party. The party that encourages everyone to engage in their communities. We’re the take-the-initiative party. The party that won’t give up. Because this election is too important. There’s too much at stake. This year, Republican women are taking back the future.

Awwww, isn't that so cute? Despite what you might have heard about how the Republican Party is not so good with the ladies, actually, and how all the single ladies especially are like, "Uh, no, we will never vote for you because you guys who are mostly all guys SUCK" -- well, do not believe it. There are lady Republicans, and ladies who like Republicans, and you can see every single one of them in this ad for ladies, by ladies, about ladies, because ladies, also LADIES.

This is exactly the kind of positive, feel-good, makes-you-wanna-buy-some-SHOOOOOOOZ rebranding that Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus was sort of hinting at when he announced the new NEW NEW NEW plan: "People know what we’re against. I want to talk about the things we’re for."

Other than that one little hiccup the other day when Priebus was all, like, "No, man, we are still totally against gay marriage, don't be stupid," plus a casual threat to shut down the whole government again unless Congress repeals Obamacare because they are still very much against that too, the party is leaving all of that being against stuff behind. Now it is for opportunity! And empowerment! And change! And the future! And it will definitely close that pesky gender gap that somehow just keeps getting bigger ... and bigger ... and bigger ...

OH! SHOOZ!

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Look, it is your afternoon Nice Times at the Supreme Court! It is also your WUT and HUH Times, with Justices Thomas, Sotomayor, Kagan and Gorsuch joining in an opinion by RBG tossing a challenge to Virginia's new, fair districts. Go know!

After the 2010 Census, Republicans in the Virginia House of Delegates did what they do best -- they stole more elections, redrawing the electoral map to ensure themselves a supermajority for all eternity. Why let the voters choose their representatives when the representatives can pick their own voters as the founders intended, right? Voters in 12 of the affected districts sued the Virginia State Board of Elections in 2014 to invalidate the districts as illegal racial gerrymanders, and the House of Delegates intervened in Bethune-Hill v. Va. State Bd. of Elections to support the Board and defend its own power.

After extensive litigation including a trip up to the Supreme Court in 2017, the District Court in the Eastern District of Virginia tossed 11 of the districts as illegal racial gerrymanders and ordered the maps redrawn in 2018. At which point, the Commonwealth of Virginia noped out and quit defending the old, craptastic districts, which should have been the end of it.

BUT NO. The Virginia House of Delegates, which is still held by the GOP despite their party netting nine percent fewer votes than Democrats in the 2017 election, vowed to fight on.

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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