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Never mind the murdered black bear covered in Obama signs, the 78-year-old black Baptist preacher and Army veteran whose Obama sign was replaced with a Confederate flag, the mass tire-slashings of cars parked at Obama rallies, or the "Kill him!" and "Terrorist!" chants at Palin's klan rallies. What this campaign -- meaning, "McCain's campaign" -- so desperately needed is an extremely fishy tale of a brave white woman getting mugged by a Black Man who thencarves a symbol into her face. Somebody's been watching too much Twin Peaks on the Netflix ....


This weird, hysterical story got the MONSTER GIANT THREE-DECK SIREN treatment on Drudge for part of the afternoon, and then it was mysteriously downgraded to a little link on the side. Maybe that's because the original sensational claim was just a little too perfect (for McCain) to survive scrutiny: That this loyal 20-year-old McCain phone bank volunteer in (of course) Pennsylvania was robbed at an ATM last night because, uh, she had a McCain bumper sticker on her car, parked nearby we guess? So the liberal mugger negro took her sixty bucks and MUTILATED HER WITH A KNIFE.

Oh, and the mutilation was political, because the criminal Obama supporter CARVED A LETTER IN HER FACE!

B!

For "B"arack Obama, of course!

And look here is a picture from a wingnut's website, as currently seen atop the Drudge Report. Uh, and the MONSTER was so gentle that the gal refused medical treatment, for her mutilation, which is ... a backwards "B" kind of indented on her cheek? You know, like if you did this to yourself, in a mirror? Not that we're implying such a thing! Everybody knows black people can't write their letters worth a damn, and always go for the tough "B" when they could get away with a much simpler "O."

The story comes from -- wait for it! -- Richard Mellon Scaife's wingnut Pittsburgh daily, the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review.

The attack, of course, "happened outside the view of the bank's surveillance cameras." The woman is from College Station, Texas.

The city's non-wingnut paper, the fine Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, has a far less hysterical article, with this interesting bit from the police:

"This is what she's telling police," police spokeswoman Diane Richard said. "We can't substantiate it at this time."

Where have we heard this before? Some teevee guy, Geraldo? Nope. Donahue? Nope. HELP US COMMENTERS .... Thanks:

In 1989, as fascination with Morton Downey Jr's TV show began to wane, he was involved in an incident in a San Francisco International Airport restroom in which he claimed to have been attacked by neo-Nazis who painted a swastika on his face and attempted to shave his head. Some inconsistencies in Downey's account (e.g., the swastika was painted in reverse, suggesting that Downey had drawn it himself in a mirror), and the failure of the police to find supportive evidence, led many to suspect that the incident was a hoax and a plea for attention. A few months later, the show was canceled.

Obama's campaign released this statement: "Our thoughts and prayers are with the young woman for her to make a speedy recovery, and we hope that the person who perpetrated this crime is swiftly apprehended and brought to justice." More like swiftly made the Chief Justice of the new Supreme Abortion Court.

Anyway, this stinks. Happy Willie Horton Day, everyone. We will predict this story will fully unravel in about 48 hours. Weird times.

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Presidential contender Kamala Harris held her first official campaign event in South Carolina, a key state in the upcoming Democratic primaries. Friday night, she spoke to a crowd of roughly 1,000 at a town hall at Royal Missionary Baptist Church in North Charleston. She reaffirmed her support for sensible gun safety laws, including universal background checks and closing the "Charleston loophole." She fielded questions from voters about how she'd address mass incarceration. Actual issues were discussed, but then she went and spoiled it all by doing something stupid like eating in public.

Harris filled her tummy with Lowcountry goodness at Rodney Scott's BBQ. Later her press secretary, Ian Sams, tweeted a photo of the senator adding a hefty dollop of Texas Pete to her collard greens because she's civilized. Some chose to interpret this as "pandering." Because some are literally killing us with this.

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Last week, we started getting excerpts from fired acting FBI director Andrew McCabe's new book The Threat: How The FBI Protects America In The Age Of Terror And Trump, and we are both happy and horrified to report that his book tour continues! One of the tidbits we learned in the Washington Post review was that we have YET ANOTHER example of a time Donald Trump has shown us that he trusts Vladimir Putin more than he trusts his own intelligence community, and is probably compromised by the Russian president. Here's how the Post put it:

During an Oval Office briefing in July 2017, Trump refused to believe U.S. intelligence reports that North Korea had test-fired an intercontinental ballistic missile — a test that Kim Jong Un had called a Fourth of July "gift" to "the arrogant Americans."

Trump dismissed the missile launch as a "hoax," McCabe writes. "He thought that North Korea did not have the capability to launch such missiles. He said he knew this because Vladimir Putin had told him so."

Guys, it is SO MUCH WORSE when McCabe tells the story on "60 Minutes," because his account captures the fucking babyshits temper tantrum nature of Trump's reaction to his intel people.

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