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GOP Has One Word To Win Back All The Ladies: 'Hashtags'

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Oh, sweet Jesus H. Hopscotching Christ, the Republicans are at it again. They have ageenyus hashtag -- it is #WomenAreRight, which is supposed to be really clever, we guess -- so they can introduce their new, new, NEW lady outreach plan, called Project GROW (get it? grow? CLEVER!), and this time, this time, they are SO going to woo the ladyvoters and finally put that nasty little War on Women behind them. Seriously.


See, after that humiliating historical gender gap in the 2012 election -- when, like, practically every ladyvoter in America was all HELLS NO!!! to the party of legitimate rape and gift-from-God rape babies and shutting down Planned Parenthood and Ann Romney totes loving you women if only you'd wake up and stop being dumb broads and like her husband already -- Republicans decided to have an honest-like-rape conversation with themselves. Should we maybe stop telling women to sit down, shut up, MEN ARE TALKING and will be doing all the decider-ing for the ladies, what have little ladybrains and obviously should not do their own thinking, because that seems to not be such a winning argument with the voters actually?

They tried. They really, really did.

They had a "discussion" -- at a freakin' slave plantation -- about how to talk to chicks and minorities. That didn't go so good, on account of how everyone was like, "Um, you are talking about how to talk to chicks and minorities at a FREAKIN' SLAVE PLANTATION!"

Conservative women also had their own meeting to strategize how to prove that (a) they really do exist, and (b) no, they're not kidding. The plan? Make bumper stickers that say "We Like Sex Too" and also something about hot dogs.

There was some chit-chat about offering sensitivity training to idiot Republicans so they will learn how to not say stupid shit about rape. Then the National Republican Senatorial Committee talked about talking about a plan to avoid those "Todd Akin moments." Sadly, they forgot to send out the memo on that, so they continued to rack up those Todd Akin moments, with Republicans saying stuff like Todd Akin was basically right and also trying to pass totally awful bills based on actual, literal Nazi "science."

And just this week, Republicans in Texas tried to make ladybadass state Sen. Wendy Davis -- what is awesome and is going to so be the next governor of Texas -- sit down and shut up and stop talkin' 'bout 'bortion restrictions in Texas because they are not "germane" to talkin' 'bout 'bortion restrictions in Texas. And then, cherry on top, Gov. Rick Perry actually opened his oopshole to say -- on the SAME FUCKING DAY he presided over Texas's 500th execution, of a woman prisoner no less -- that he just wants to "protect women" by tellin' 'em no, they cannot have 'bortions and THEN, the very next day, he actually not-even-shitting-you said, "The louder they scream, the more we know that we are getting something done."

That sound you hear? Yeah, that is the sound of us banging our collective heads against all the desks. (We'd be screaming, but our vaginas are hoarse at this point. Sorry, Rick Perry.) But hey, GOP, it is all good because you had A Thing today -- WITH A HASHTAG! -- so we will forget everything we have seen, just this week, and instead think about how you oh-so-graciously tweeted stuff like "It’s our goal to grow the number of GOP women in office and put forward qualified candidates" and "We need to be a party that encourages women to play an active role in what we do" and "We need to be a party that allows talented women to rise to the top." Sooooo sweet! They want to "allow" women to do stuff! Except for, you know, talk. They would like women to not talk please. Especially that Wendy Davis lady. (The GOP prolly does not want you to pay attention to that hashtag.)

Alas, the tweeting did not go so good, as Republicans are actually pretty bad at that sort of thing, and the whole Internet basically just spent the entirety of their sad little press conference laughing at them. S'okay, guys. You can try again next week.

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Fellow Wonkers, this last week of horror has been wearing on us all, because here we are in a world where the "president" of the United States has ordered that migrant children be taken away from their parents at the border, and is simultaneously proud of it (for his base) and cravenly blaming it on Democrats because even he knows it's morally reprehensible. But what the hell can we do about it beyond calling our senators and representatives and posting sadness on Twitter, the latter of which is of dubious utility to anyone, and mostly depressing?

Resist the urge to disappear into a bottle. The kids and the families need you.

Slate has compiled a great list of places to start, which we will liberally summarize for you right now:

The thing these folks need most is LAWYERS. If you're an immigration lawyer, you're probably already swamped. But on the off chance you have time and expertise to spare, the American Immigration Lawyers Association is building a list of volunteers.

Yr Dok Zoom has given money to the fine folks at RAICES, a San Antonio-based group that has two major projects. They're getting lawyers for migrant families (and for the kids when possible) and raising money to pay migrant parents' bond so they can be out of jail and with their families. If you're in Texas, then click here to volunteer!

Also for folks who are in Texas:

The Texas Civil Rights Project is seeking "volunteers who speak Spanish, Mam, Q'eqchi' or K'iche' and have paralegal or legal assistant experience."

There's also CARA -- an umbrella organization for the Catholic Legal Immigration Network, the American Immigration Council, the Refugee and Immigrant Center for Education and Legal Services, and the American Immigration Lawyers Association. Together, they provide legal services at immigration detention centers.

To help kids who are already in immigration detention, there's Kids in Need of Defense, which provides children with representation in immigration court and also lobbies for children's legal interests. Donate here.

If you're not quite sure where to give, ActBlue has bundled several immigrant rights groups into a single donation button -- see the list and donate here.

Remember, there's always the ACLU, which is fighting family separation with a federal class action lawsuit.

You want to march? Former top government ethics lawyer Walter Shaub, who gave up trying to tell the Trump administration what ethics even are, will be announcing the details of a national march (think DC and local affiliated marches) tonight on MSNBC's "All In with Chris Hayes." We'll make noise here, too.

Good people are coming together to put an end to this cruelty. EVERY Democrat in the Senate is now co-sponsoring Dianne Feinstein's bill to stop family separation.

And hell, we'll even give the last word to Jennifer Rubin, who seems to have reassessed some of her previous political views. She has a reminder for all of us:

Damn straight. Remember it every damn day between now and then.

It's your open thread. Don't boo -- organize. Time to RESIST.

Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter

Don't take for granted that the institutions you love will always be there, like democracy, and Wonkette. Click to save at least one of them!

[Slate]

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There are perks to being the only Harvard professor willing to shill for the Bush League Mussolini. Everyone else has to haul ass to the Fox studio and sit for hair and makeup. Not Alan Dershowitz! He just parks his laptop in Pee Wee's playhouse and Skypes in that rant. Is he even wearing pants? We hope never to find out!

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