GOP Has Secret Plan To Win The War On Donald Trump

They're coming for you, Trump

Don't you just love the smell of Republican Civil War in the morning?

Republican officials and leading figures in the party’s establishment are now preparing for the possibility of a brokered convention as Donald Trump continues sit atop the polls and the presidential race.

Seriously, we just cummed all over ourselves. Let's go again, shall we?

More than 20 of them convened Monday for a dinner held by Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus, where the prospect of Trump nearing next year’s nominating convention in Cleveland with a significant number of delegates dominated the discussion, according to five people familiar with the meeting.

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Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell was there. And a Mitt Romney "confidante." (It's OK to say never, not that he ever did, because we all know how well he can always change his mind.) And an adviser to Marco Rubio. And an "ally" of Jeb Bush, though we didn't know he had any left. Maybe it was his son?

The scheming establishmentarians dined at a fancy-pants Wolfgang Puck "Asian fusion" restaurant called The Source, which is about as un-Real American as you can get, isn't it? No homo-hatin' Chick-fil-A McChickenwiches for them. And as they ate their coastal elitist delicacies like "Spicy Tuna Tartare, Sesame-Miso Cones, Shaved Bonito, Pickled Ginger, Tobiko" and "Korean Pear & Kale Salad, Marinated Cucumbers, Pickled Radish, Sesame Garlic Dressing" and other Asian fusion dishes:

[S]everal longtime power brokers argued that if the controversial billionaire storms through the primaries, the party’s establishment must lay the groundwork for a floor fight, in which the GOP’s mainstream wing could coalesce around an alternative, the people said.

But what does it mean? Could they? Would they dare? Trump's had a YOOOGE lead in this race since about five seconds after he said "MESSICANS GO HOME." Sure, other candidates have tried to stretch their few seconds of fame into 15 whole minutes -- remember when Carly Fiorina was almost kinda sorta a thing? But the only candidate who's come close to Trump, Ben Carson, is already plummeting his way down to irrelevance again. Ted Cruz is getting his name in the headlines these days, but he has a lot of catching up to do, and Trump's already sharpening his knives for the guy:

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But if Trump wins more votes and delegates than any other candidates, will the party refuse to give its voters what they clearly want? Would the RNC violate the make nice-nice deal the it "negotiated" with Trump, back in September, that he wouldn't run as an independent candidate, so long as they kept blowing on his scrote just how he likes? And can we have a front-row seat to watch please?

And as for the Republican voters who love Trump -- no, really, they love him, they love him so hard, they want to marry him and have all his babies and put 'em in cute little Make America Great Again onsies -- are they going to just sit there and take it if the powers that be tell them, "Yeah, we know you chose Trump, but we choose ... Not Trump. How do you feel about Jeb? Or Mitt? Remember him? He wasn't so bad, was he? Except for how he can't win the White House, no matter how many times he tries?"

Are those mad as hell voters going to do as they are told? Or are they going to sit at home and angrily stroke themselves to reruns of Sarah Palin's various failed shows? Or are they going to beg Trump to run as a third-party candidate and show up to the polls in November 2016 to vote for him, and only him, any other candidates on the ballot with an "R" next to their names be damned?

Or is this all a waste of our time because come ON, Trump isn't really going to win the nomination. OR IS HE? And even if he wins, the party isn't really going to simply say "Nope" and foist some other loser upon its members. OR IS IT? And if it does, the voters aren't really going to abandon their Republican Party and deliver to Democrats a sweeping victory throughout the nation. OR ARE THEY?

We don't know. No one does. But hot damn, we cannot wait to find out.



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