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GOP Readies Unstoppable Thompson-Thompson Ticket For 2008

Predictable, but unavoidable

Surprisingly, Many Republicans seem almost as contemptuous of WALNUTS!, Cousin-Marryin' Ratface, and Special Underwear Mitt as we are. That's why they're casting around for a new champion. And what better place for the party opposed to Hollywood values to look than the entertainment industry? Fred Thompson used to be a movie actor, then was a Senator from Tennessee, then got a job as the D.A. on Law and Order. Because his show is required by law to be on at least five channels at any given time, everyone in America knows who he is; and because he's a pretend prosecuting attorney instead of a pretend defense attorney, he's obviously tough on crime. Thus, he's a shoe-in, and is seriously considering running.


Meanwhile, Tommy Thompson, who used to be Secretary of Health and Human Services and Governor of Wisconsin before that (and are there two more electrifying jobs in American politics?) apparently plans to launch his doomed campaign for the presidency on April 4. Clearly he's hoping that primary voters will mix him up with the charismatic teevee Thompson and vote for him by accident -- a cunning plan, to be sure, but we think he's best suited for the number two spot on the Thompson Twin ticket.

Thompson Could Fill the Missing Slot [Yahoo!]

Thompson planning campaign kick-off [CNN]

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