GOP Seeks Women Soldiers for War on Women

Hey ladies. Have you been patronized today? Have national Republicans belittled your tiny mind and puny ambition yet this week? Well, they might have, but would you have even noticed between all the housework and childcare and womanly duties? Probably not, so take yourself a little break from watching The View or prettifying yourself for your man, and let this mommyblog help you out.

From Roll Call:

House Republicans are putting the first touches on what they hope will be a formal program to recruit more female candidates for the 2014 midterm elections.

Maybe you want to trade in that vacuum cleaner for a seat in the House of Representatives!  Did you even know that you were allowed to run for office, or even vote (and not necessarily the same way as your husband)? Have no fear, because Freshman Rep. Ann Wagner (R-MO) is here to help:

“Women need to be asked,” said Wagner, who helped create a similar recruitment program as Republican National Committee co-chairwoman in 2001. “They have to be told of the opportunity and be encouraged to run.”

Apparently you ladies need to be asked to run. Are you too busy with the hygiene products and the gossip about what Heidi was wearing on Project Runway to know that you, too, can run for Congress? Well don’t worry, because the Republicans want to tell you about this exciting opportunity! They will even encourage you, because they know you are frail and not confident like men-folks, who have no problem running for Congress and talking about things they know nothing about like masturbating fetuses or science or facts.

Conservative women often play the more traditional role as caregivers to their children, and running for and serving in Congress often prohibits them from carrying out those roles, said Angela Faulkner, a GOP direct-mail consultant.

Faulkner suggested the recruitment program should devote a significant amount of resources to help create child care options. It must also allow women to have more flexible schedules to take care of their families and the responsibilities of being an elected official.

What are you talking about, providing child care opportunities? You mean that sometimes it is difficult for working women to have a job and care for children? Is this why the GOP budgets regularly seek to cut funding for child care? Is it only conservative women who run for Congress who need this so-called “child care”? For the rest of you women out there, you are on your own. If you want child care, look into running for Congress on the GOP ticket, because then it is ok and stuff.

What about the Democrats? Aren’t they having an outreach strategy, too?

Rep. Steve Israel of New York, chairman of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, said he’s never had to formally recruit women to run.

“The essential difference is that Republicans have to recruit women. All I have to do is answer the phone,” Israel said.

Women make up a much greater portion, one-third, of the House Democratic Caucus compared with the Republican Conference. Women make up 8 percent of the House GOP majority.

Apparently the demon-crat womyns know about opportunities to run for Congress, probably because they send out notices in the Gay/Lesbian Agenda Weekly. And they are bold hussies who just call Steve Israel and say, “Hey man, I wanna run for Congress, so once I get done with my high-powered job let’s go have a drink and talk about it, because I have a progressive partner at home who realizes that child care can be a shared responsibility because I don’t live in 19-fucking-50.”

One has to wonder why the Democrats have an easier time attracting candidates… let’s list a few of the possible reasons, shall we?

  • The GOP regularly tries to defund Planned Parenthood, which provides millions of women with affordable health care for things like cancer screening and contraception;
  • The GOP is all for individual liberty, except for women’s bodies, which need to be legislated to the Nth degree;
  • The GOP majority in the House has regularly voted against things like the Paycheck Fairness Act, Violence Against Women Act, and other bills that try to help and protect women;
  • The GOP led the effort to kill a bill on forced child marriage, a situation where girls as young as eight or nine are married off to men oftentimes three times their age; and
  • The GOP says that gee whiz, sometimes boys will be boys and be rapey to women in the military, what are ya gonna do?

So it really is a mystery as to why the GOP has trouble attracting women to run for office. With a track record like this, perhaps women are more content to deal with the drooling, screaming brats they have at home, rather than the drooling screaming brats in the House.

[Roll Call]


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