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John Thune, Senator from South Dakota, is sexy (shut up, fuck you) in an ugly, rugged Willem Dafoe kind of way. Then he opens his mouth.


Here is what he said to Hallie Jackson of NBC (according to NBC producer Frank Thorp) regarding Sunday night's massacre in Las Vegas.

Thune: It sounds like he used conversion kits and other things, you know, to make these weapons more lethal. Like I said, we'll look at the facts when we get them all in here. I think that all of us want to do everything we can to prevent tragedies like that from happening again. You know, it's an open society. And when somebody does what he wants to do, it's going to be hard to prevent anything. But I think people are going to have to take steps in their own lives to take precautions to protect themselves and in situations like that, you know, try to stay safe. As somebody said: get small.

Life in America: GET SMALL! Somebody should make a MAGA hat with that on it.

Of course, getting small didn't work for the 20 kindergartners killed at Sandy Hook. Maybe try "get covered in bulletproof armor" instead. Oh wait, the GOP has a bill RIGHT NOW to legalize armor-piercing bullets? (For hunting, we're sure.)

Oh well, we guess that's a shame.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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