Gossip Roundup: Ahoy, Matey!

· Didn't we have a revolution to stop this? Kerry and Bush are both royal descendants. OK, we definitely tried to put a stop to this: Three freshmen GOP reps have raised more than $1 million a piece. Amish Labor bill allows children work, called victory for "liberty." On the Health and Human Services Web site [www.hhs.gov], the only things under "abstinence education" are "many links to several multimillion-dollar organizations that actively lobby against abstinence education." Tricky. [WT]

· Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. distributed copies of the Village Voice story detailing Sharpton's GOP ties to fellow members of the Black Caucus. NYC celebs who endorsed Dean (the Betamax of political contenders): "Kathy Sloan, Paul Bierne, Beth Rudin DeWoody, Roy Furman, George Soros, Bill Zeckendorf and Karenna Gore Schiff." [NYP and NYP]

· Slow gossip day: Zachary Taylor died from an overdose of bad cherries. Oh, this is better: Gerald Ford allegedly had a flatulence problem, "often blaming the Secret Service men surrounding him." Kerry's band's record not doing well on eBay. Good news: Arnold Schwarzenneger "wants to become the anti-piracy czar." (Bad news: He thinks it involves gold doubloons and parrots.) [NYDN]


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