Gossip Roundup: Dumb Blondes Edition

The Reliable Source: At a Ford Theatre gala, Bush introduces Jessica Simpson, "which means we've finally introduced reality TV to the Lincoln Theater." He meant Ford, and Simpson congratulated Interior Secretary Gale Norton on "a nice job decorating the White House." [WP]

Washington Whispers: George Tenet on whether he plans to resign after the election: "And miss all this fun?" [USN]

Heard on the Hill: Kerry and Jimmy Carter have plans for a DNC fundraiser with P.Diddy, Q-Tip, and Biz Markie . . . Rep. Spencer Bachus (R-Ala.) is D.C.'s Funniest Celebrity, but Rep. Brian Baird (D-Wash.) came close by playing Bush: "We'�ve created 10 million jobs - they�'re in India and China," or "I'�ve talked to the vice president and he�'s said it'�s okay for me to run with him again." Baird introduced Bush's "Leave No Consonant Behind" Program and writer Norm Ornstein explained that Madonna endorsed Clark because "They both had a lot of soldiers underneath them." [Roll Call]

Inside the Beltway: Tom Clancy on a hypothetical plane hitting the Capitol: "Nearly 300 tons of aircraft and fuel struck the east face of the building at a top speed of 300 knots. The aircraft disintegrated on impact. No less fragile than a bird, its speed and mass had already fragmented the columns outside the walls." Then the building collapses. [WT]

Rush & Molloy: The former president of the Uniformed Firefighter Association had trouble getting clearance for the groundbreaking of the 9/11 memorial last week. As a cop pulled him over, he got a call from Bush. "Yeah, right," said the cop as a security detail arrived. [NYDN]

Cindy Adams: Hillary: "I know about winning and losing elections. In '92 we had a near-death experience. They said Bill's dead meat and we should get the carcass off the floor." [NYP]

Liz Smith: Tina Brown on Ralph Nader: "There was something perversely thrilling about the old Raider's decision not to do the decent thing and lie low . . . In an era when every politician's naked ego is muffled by euphemism, his bloody-minded announcement was the political version of unprotected sex. He is willing to trash his legacy to make a point about the process." (Sounds familiar.) [NYP]


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