Gossip Roundup: Getting Baked Edition

Reliable Source: Breaking news: Gays like Judy Garland. But why? "[S]he was having a good time and making a lot of money. Partnership for Public Service bemoans the lack of positive government-worker role models on television. (RS tosses out possibilities: "SSA-CSI," "HIPAA-SVU.") Mel Gibson sometimes suspects that he's "the biggest idiot in the world" (can't be all right all the time!). Jason Alexander (George Costanza) wants to bring peace to the Middle East. Channel 9's Gordon Peterson retires. (We're warning you, Leiby. . . ) [WP]

Inside the Beltway: Evan Bayh stopped a terrorist from blowing up a plane. Maybe. One thing's for sure: he acted quickly when a man "described by one passenger as being of Middle Eastern descent" did something suspicious. (Gotta be a terrorist, right?) We're gonna be attacked by aliens. Election notices in Spanish: "This is the epitome of government multilingualism gone amok." (For our Esperantan readers: "Estas la epitome da registaro multilingvo iri freneza!" [WT]

Under the DomeDick Armey apologizes for past remarks. Then: "If I were a Democrat, I would feel a heck of a lot more comfortable in Boston than, say, in America." Now: "I owe your fair city an apology and I extend it with all sincerity." After 10 years, the House is hiring a historian again (starts at $103,969, applications due March 1). Ricin-exposed staffers' clothes to be baked. (Don't bogart the stash!) Kentucky candidate not, in fact, endorsed by Maker's Mark. (Wonkette, however, endorses Maker's Mark.) Bob Novak to go to Gridiron dinner in Mr. Valerie Plame drag, will sing: "Novak had a secret source/who lived within the great White House/and one day his secret source/told him of my beloved spouse …" [The Hill]

Heard on the Hill:Rep. Heather Wilson (R-N.M.) got pissed at Viacom for Janet’s jiggle and Howard Stern. Stern mocks her a bit. Wilson says she’s never heard his show. Placido Domingo is singing for Ted Kennedy’s birthday today (he's 72). (Insert preservative qualities of alcohol joke here.) Slow day for the rumor mill: "Conspiracy theories immediately started spreading (at least in HOH’s mind) when Senate Sergeant-at-Arms Bill Pickle was spotted hobbling around the chamber with a broken leg and fractured ankle." He hurt himself skiing. Ken Johnson is stepping down from House Energy and Commerce. "In an ironic twist of fate, it looks like Martha and I are going down at the same time," Johnson deadpanned to HOH. Budget jokes. Ben Stein is speaking at a retirement planning hearing. [Roll Call]

Rush & Malloy: Joining the anti-"Passion" bandwagon: PETA. Janeane Garofalo working hard on a new political book: "Dude, Where's My Career" -- no, sorry, it's called something else. Out by election day. George Butler, who documented Arnold Schwarzenegger in "Pumping Iron," just got the rights to make a nonfiction movie out of "Tour of Duty: John Kerry and the Vietnam War." [NYDN]

Lloyd Grove's Lowdown:John McCain thinks 2004 campaign will be "nastiest" ever. Is confronted by a Writer's Guild member about abortion rights. Bill O'Reilly: Unoriginal. Hollywood person has unusual defense of "Passion" against anti-Semiticism: "Everyone in the movie besides the Romans are Jews!" Governator not going to Oscars. [NYDN]

Page Six:John Edwards gets his hand slapped for patting disabled person's head. [NYP]

Cindy Adams:Tim Russert stole the idea of Arnold running for President from her. [NYP]


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