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* Heard on the Hill: Congress took yesterday off to watch football. At the insistence, btw, of John Boehner... Crazy coot Thaddeus McCotter has begun sending out his insane "Thinking Points" memos. First one features Spinal Tap lyrics... Yes, Rep. G.K. Butterfield is black... Joe Biden is running for something! [Roll Call]


* Reliable Source: Fenty inaugural ball featured 1,500 chairs for 15,000 attendees... The Bush Twins partied old-school last weekend at Smith Point, of all places, and Town Hall. [WP]

* Yeas and Nays: Members of Congress already submitting insane, doomed bills. Mike Huckabee suggests watching more shitty '80s sitcoms is secret to happiness, success. [Examiner]

* Under the Dome: Dennis Kucinich introduced Keith Ellison and Virgil Goode. Some claim he did this to foster peace and harmony, but we know it's just 'cause he likes to start shit... The Capitol Police didn't recognize Keith Ellison until he produced his official Congressional BlackBerry, which he didn't strike anyone with... Rep. Kevin Brady (R-Texas) declares intention to file FOIA request for every meeting of House Rules Committee. FOIA, of course, doesn't apply to records of Congress. [The Hill]

* Rush & Molloy: Some guy wants George Clooney to star in a movie as Bill O'Reilly. [NYDN]

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Ann Coulter is not impressed with Donald Trump's presumptuous plan to stop ripping babies away from their mothers and sending them to infant prison. For quite a while, Ann has been obsessively lamenting the very idea that American people even have children to "fill their lives with joy," but now (lol, "now") Ann has shifted her rage to immigrant people. Every time you watch her waving her alien-length arms around in a ritualistic frenzy over how shitty liberals are, just remember that we have already seen the emptiness of her soul laid bare. Remember that time she wanted to eat your baby because you got a tax credit?

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Screenshot- Right Wing watch via Fox News
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It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.

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