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Gossip Roundup: I Wanna Get Drunk With You

· What nefarious purpose could CBS have for buying photos of Jenna Bush from the tabs? We hope it's something about drugs. Or sex. Kerry: A hero with an enemies list? " During Kerry's 1972 bid for Congress, his younger brother, Cameron Kerry, was arrested for 'breaking into . . . the headquarters of a Kerry opponent.'" [NYP and NYP]


· Nancy Reagan was totally creeped out by the Clintons (who isn't?); there's an artist (an actual artist!) who's a Republican (an actual Republican!); Drudge refuses free publicity on "The West Wing," takes the Judy Dean route: "I will not be a prop in Aaron Sorkin's fantasy White House." [NYDN]

· Windmills don’t kill birds. Windows kill birds. Media Training Worldwide has updated its "crisis-communication tips" for official spokesmen and spokeswomen in Washington: "If you are wearing a wireless microphone, take it off immediately after your speech, especially if you are about to go to the bathroom." Joe Lieberman wasn't even popular as a drink (vanilla vodka, Bailey's Irish cream, decaffeinated coffee); Bob Dole will be flacking for Indonesia. [WT]

· White House gets fussy about the lawn, tells reporters No more "large camp-style folding chairs" and "All of this is a more serious problem than you might imagine." Nancy Pelosi wants to shrink her babies! Politicians get stopped by airport security! You can buy John Kerry's prep school band's record! Eek! [WP]

· More on the Lieberman drink, the other candidate's drinks don't sound much better: Dean’s Scream (vanilla vodka, rum and coconut purée), Wild Wild Wes (Chivas Royal Salute and clove orange). Even worse? What the Four Seasons is calling the stung: a cocktail "straw poll." There's also a mention of a certain "Wonkette.com blog." [The Hill]

· Rep. Joel Hefley (R-Colo) makes a funny about ricin (smart!); more about the fucking presidential mixed drinks -- and, hey, the Ritz-Carlton is in on it too! Edwards Southern Coolout is "vodka, gin, rum and Southern Comfort mixed with sour mix, orange juice and grenadine." (Yuck.) And the Deantini? Don't ask. [Roll Call]

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'Miga and Carlos' by Wonkette Operative 'Chica'

It's Father's Day, which means it's time for Yr Dok Zoom and his son to go to brunch and check out the downtown Boise Father's Day Car Show so we can ooh and ah over the very same Corvettes 'n' Mustangs 'n' lovingly-restored classic cars that are there every year, and I will probably once again point at the '68 Beetle converted to run on electricity and say, "Oh look, a Voltswagen!" Traditions matter. (Kid Zoom is 22, so I may also/instead meet him for cocktails later like grown up human people.)

Don't worry about any deep thoughts on the Meaning of Fatherhood here -- we're just going to enjoy the goofy side of dadding, which as far as I'm concerned is the best thing I've done with my time. Especially since my role model for parenting was the unnamed Dad from "Calvin and Hobbes."

As any fool knows, ice rises to the top of liquids because it's cold, and just wants to be closer to the sun so it can warm up. It's all in the book you get when you become a father.

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

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