Gossip Roundup: I'm a Natural-Born Nincompoop Edition
• Reliable Source: Mark Shriver pays $9,500 to owner of dog he accidently shot. . . Jon Stewart to join ranks of Jefferson and Madison when he receives honorary doctorate from the College of William and Mary. He jokes, "Back then the requirements for the honorary doctorate were not nearly as stringent as they are now. Back then all you needed was a powdered wig and one venereal disease.". . . Colmes, Ingraham, others to appear at the Capital Book Festival. . . Noah Wyle joins Frist for Cover the Uninsured Week. Wyle: "I prefer national spokesperson, but I guess celebrity face works, too." [WP]
• Under the Dome: Miller trying to repeal the 17th Amendment: "This government is in one hell of a mess, and frankly, my dear, very few up here give a damn.". . . Hollings: "Eight or 10 years from now, a majority of the Senate will be women. In fact, I think women make better senators than men. . . These little ladies like Elizabeth Dole and Mary Landrieu are terrific senators.". . . Libertarian challenger for Rep. Anna Eshoo's (D-Calif.) seat will pay voters $2 if they read his campaign literature and don't support him. . . Adam Howard, aide to Rep. John Hostettler (R-Ind.) named best driver at a Mazda contest.
• Heard on the Hill: Reps. Loretta Sanchez (Calif.) and sister Linda Sanchez (Calif.) to participate in "Trading Spaces". . . WP reporter is out of the loop; didn't know Katherine Harris was in Congress. . . Rep. Nick Rahall (D-W.Va.) overdoses horse jokes when debating a horse-related bill: "Mr. Chairman, before we go galloping off and approve this bill, I think we need to pull in the reins and take stock of the significant problems with H.R. 2966. . . I would say don�t allow yourselves to become mule-headed over this bill. It�s time to pack it in and let H.R. 2966 ride off into the sunset." [Roll Call]
• Lloyd Grove's Lowdown: "The George W. Bush Quiz Book" debuts. . . Why Larry David thinks he should be Kerry's VP: "I'm a natural-born nincompoop ... I will deliver the nincompoops ... My cowardice is legendary ... I even lie about the time." [NYDN]
• Cindy Adams: According to new book, Clinton sent secret emissary to Iraq to warm relations after his election and Saddam asked Dan Rather for U.S. reaction to Bush's war plans. [NYP]
• Fox 411 Streisand, Diamond, Midler, Mellencamp, Sheryl Crow, Robin WIlliams, and Whoopi Goldberg to participate in Kerry fundraiser at Radio City. [Fox News]