Gossip Roundup: What Our Intern Did When He Should Have Been Registering for Classes Edition

Heard on the Hill: Ed Henry's last column: "Thank you first to my 535 joke writers (to paraphrase a line from comedian Mark Russell.) If you think I have been even a little funny, it'’s only because of the 100 Senators and 435 House Members who have given me such rich material on the lighter side of Capitol Hill. . . You could not possibly make this stuff up. In a way, I’ve simply been eavesdropping on the ultimate reality show — and I hope you’ve enjoyed some of the episodes. . . All-time favorites include Kennedy's 'Stockpile Stewardess Program,' DeLay's battle with a fly, and the world-famous 'You Suck' email." [Roll Call]

Inside the Beltway: Lieberman: "I thought the Ted Kennedy reference to Vietnam was not appropriate.". . . Carter: "President Bush's war was ill-advised and unnecessary and based on erroneous statements, and has turned out to be a tragedy." DeLay: "I'm just glad President Carter wasn't in charge after Valley Forge, Bull Run or Pearl Harbor.". . . Kerry, last year: "If America is at war, I won't speak a word [criticizing the president] without measuring how it'll sound to the guys doing the fighting when they're listening to their radios in the desert." [WT]

The Scoop: 12,000 Martha Stewart fans petition Bush for a pardon. . . Pink writes to the Advocate: "But if you happen to be reasonably minded and have fallen in love and wanna marry your soul mate and make a life of it, and you just so happen to be the same sex, then NO! How dare you! You demon creatures! We’d rather you just buy gasoline and support our war and continue to consume and fear in our country so we can make money off you. But do us a favor — don’'t hold hands in public. Love, Pink." (Subtle, that Pink.) [MSNBC]

Lloyd Grove's Lowdown: Who will get the Clinton interview when his memoir is released? A prime-time special with Oprah? Says his attorney, "There's also interest in virtually every major country in the world, who all want prime-time interviews. I have yet to hear from other planets, but nothing would surprise me." [NYDN]

Rush & Molloy: Bruckheimer: "But eventually we'll realize that we did the right thing by removing a brutal dictator. I know I'm in the minority, but I like Bush.". . . Reiner: "I think this is worse than Vietnam because in Vietnam you could pull out. In Iraq, we're stuck in a situation we've created.". . . Kerry's Wednesday night in New York will bring in over $5 million. . . Hillary, Jeffords, Stevens, and Enzi joined Schumer for planet-gazing on the Dirksen roof. [NYDN]

Daily Dish: On "SNL," Janet Jackson as Condi flashes the 9/11 panel: "I am not a prude, sir, but this hearing is not the forum for that kind of lewd conduct." [NYDN]

Cindy Adams: Condi pushed out? "And you'll suddenly hear phrases like: She's tired of the rat race, needs to have a life, been in politics too long, always wanted to be a football commissioner, always wanted to be a wife and mother, always wanted a villa in Malta, etc., etc., and blah blah. Is what they're saying." [NYP]

Page Six: Paula Jones marketing a new book, "I Said 'No!': A Case File of Sexual Harassment". [NYP]


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