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Gov. Paul LePage To Nurse: Sure Would Be A Shame If An Angry Mob Attacked You

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Nurse Kaci Hickox took a bike ride Thursday, and it was huge news because she was defying Maine's arbitrary, unscientific semi-quarantine against her. There's no official order, but the state has said she should not leave her home until Nov. 10, and there's been a state police car parked outside her home, just to keep an eye on her.


Hickcox, who has tested negative for Ebola -- twice -- and has no symptoms and is not a danger to anyone, earned herself a first-rate mafia-style threat from Maine Gov. Paul LePage:

"Right now, she can come out of the house if she wants, but we can't protect her when she does that. The reason there's a police car there when she does that is to protect her more than anybody. 'Cause the last thing I want is for her to get hurt," he said. "But at the same token, her behavior is really riling a lot of people up, and I can only do what I can do. And we're trying to protect her, but she's not acting as smart as she probably should."

Sure would be a shame if a mob of crazed paranoids wielding torches and pitchforks attacked her. If she's smart, Kaci Hickox will know what's good for her. But if she insists on acting like she's not a threat to public health -- which she is not, as the Maine Medical Association pointed out Wednesday in a letter to the governor -- there's just no telling what panicked folks might do, ya know? She's just got everyone so fearful!

Gosh, if only Gov. LePage could say or do something to calm those unreasonable fears instead of stoking them. Instead, he's vowing not to let Hickox get "within three feet of anybody," and promising he will "exercise the full extent of his authority allowable by law" to keep her away from the public.

MSNBC's All In With Chris Hayes put together a lovely montage of the televised hype surrounding Hickox's bike ride, including a shot of Fox's Eric Bolling asking, dumbfounded, "Why do you wear a helmet?" What a crazy lady, protecting her noggin from a possible head injury when she's risking killing everyone with Ebola!!! Or maybe, as a nurse, she's aware that roughly 500 Americans die annually from head injuries sustained in bicycle crashes, while the 2014 death rate for Ebola in the USA remains steady at 1 (one). Still, those helmets sure look stupid! Also, Greg Gutfeld insisted that "she should be quarantined for being obnoxious," which is probably not a policy Mr. Gutfield should encourage, if he knows what's good for him.

[CNN / MSNBC]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Blanket Disclaimer: Spitting on anybody is dead wrong. Even if it's a Trump.

Still, Eric Trump got to eat a tiny slice of the shit pie women, minorities, poors, disabled, and all of the other people who are deemed "takers" or who come from "shithole countries" experience at some point in their lives: He got spit on. By a woman, according to Breitbart (no link), because we are evil. Woe unto the wealthy white man! Wealthy white men are some of the most abused and marginalized people in the Universe, according to wealthy white men, and Eric Trump is no exception. Please cry for wealthy white men, ok you can stop now. Another group of Americans that are constantly abused, marginalized, and even denied their rights by the very same type of wealthy men that spawn such men as Eric Trump, are called "women." And apparently we are mean as fuck now.

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Well folks, we think we have a geopolitical relations first for an American president. We might need to consult with Doris Kearns Goodwin or Kevin Kruse, but we cannot recall a time one of America's purported enemies OR friends has called the president of the United States "retarded" or anything along those lines. We remember leaders hating American presidents. We remember them recoiling like UGH GET OFF ME when an American president tried to give them a friendly sensual love massage during the G8. We remember them literally attacking our democratic elections in order to prevent the inaugurations of potential presidents they despise and fear. But we don't remember anything like this.

President Hassan Rouhani of Iran, commenting on Donald Trump after the Trump administration threw some new sanctions at Iran on Monday:

Iran warned Tuesday that new U.S. sanctions targeting its supreme leader and other top officials meant "closing the doors of diplomacy" between Tehran and Washington amid heightened tensions, even as President Hassan Rouhani derided the White House as being "afflicted by mental retardation."

Here is the full quote, in case you were wondering if something was lost in translation, like that time Vladimir Putin called Trump "brilliant" and Trump was so excited he left a ring of orange jizz around the bathtub, but what Putin actually said in Russian more accurately translates as "colorful" or "shiny." There's no confusion here:

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