GovSex: Touching It with a Ten-Foot Pole
Finally! Rick Perry has said something about those awful rumors regarding gubernatorial gerbil stuffing. The Austin American-Statesman is the first major-ish news organization to run a story on the subject. The occasion is, of course, the Texas governor's emphatic -- extremely emphatic -- denial of rumors he described as
• "a cancer on the political process that is deadly"
• "not correct in any shape, form or fashion"
• "hurtful to my family"
• "uncorroborated filth"
• "malicious and hurtful"
• "crossing the line of everything decent."
In declaring the really, really, really not-true nature of the rumors, Perry declined to address the substance of the story. Instead, he emphasized what can only be called his raging heterosexuality: "I have probably got about as good a marriage as anybody's ever had. This is the first girl I ever had a date with in my life. We dated for 16 years and we married and we started a family, and Anita has been about as perfect a wife as anybody could ever ask for," he said, all but pantomiming an enthusiastic session of God-approved man-on-woman sex. He continued, saying his completely unambiguous straightness has aided him in standing up to this attack as well: "I'm a big, tough guy. . . This is like a bombing mission for me. The missiles come up on a regular basis. I know they're going to come up."
Perry then blushed a bit and quickly excused himself, mumbling, "Missiles. Hot, throbbing missiles."
Governor speaks out on marital rumors [Austin American-Statesman]
Instantaneous Scandal-Mongering: GovSex [Wonkette]