Grand Old Party Schedule

We've finally gotten a party list for the Republican Convention and we admit that it's sort of impressive -- sure, they're short on celebs, but they do have Lynyrd fucking Skynyrd. And who needs Ben Affleck when you've got Fred Thompson (at the "Warrior Foundation" lunch, no less)? We're also totally psyched for the Fanny Mae "Day at the Spa," where we're hoping some vengeful gay eyebrow waxer will get creative with the tweezers ("That's for the Federal Marriage Amendment, Mary!").

Not sure which of the parties are the "hot" ones (it's all relative, right?) -- or at least the ones with the greatest probability of seeing drunk Bush twins. And will any of them be as good as the highly memorable Glover Park Group soiree in Boston? We hear that the always popular Distilled Spirits Council party will be a scene and we're personally interested in sneaking into the Santorum cocktails event. . . Mmmmm. . . Santorum cock. . .

Oh, speaking of cock, we knew we should have molested Gideon Yago when we had the chance: The crack or whatever heavy medication the folks at MTV News department were on when they decided to put us on the TV finally ran out. Or maybe it was the crack we were on that was the problem. Whatever. We're going to make the convention scene anyway; we hear that being a "blogger" at a convention is very "in" right now. Totally gonna look into that.

Schedule after the jump.

Saturday, August 28

9:00 PM, Media Welcome Party, Time Warner Center,

Sunday, August 29

TBD, Pataki & RNC Welcome Party, Ellis Island, Gov. Pataki

12:00 PM, Brunch Honoring Speaker Hastert, Tavern on the Green, Speaker Hastert

12-1 PM, Warrior Foundation Luncheon , Sen. McCain, Fmr. Sen. Fred Thompson

5-8 PM, Special Broadway Musical Productions for Arriving Delegates, Broadway

7-10PM, CNN & Friend of "The Capital Gang" Reception, One Time Warner Center , Sallie Mae, CNN, Robert Novak, Mark Shields, Al Hunt, Margaret Carlson, & Kate O'Beirne

TBD, Martinis in Manhattan, RGA, at the New York Palace, New York Palace Hotel, 455 Madison Ave., RGA,

9-12 PM, Big Apple Martini and Bowling Party in honor of Chairman Dreier*, Bowlmoor Lanes, 110 University Place, David Dreier, House Rules Committee Chairman David Dreier

11:00 PM, Reception, Grand Havana Room Cigar Bar, 666 5th Ave.

9:00 PM, Sunday Night Fever Party , Roseland Ballroom, Vito Fossella

10:00 PM, Tribute to Southern Delegations featuring Lynyrd Skynyrd, CroBar

Monday, August 30

TBD, Breakfast Honoring Speaker Hastert, Righa Royal, KOMPAC, Speaker Hastert

TBD, Republican Attorneys Gerneral Association Brunch, Loff 11, 336W.37th St., 11th Floor, RAGA,

TBD, Brunch at Tavern on the Green Honoring NRSC, Sen. Allen?

TBD, Fannie Mae event , Day at the Spa, Republican Conference Chairwoman Deborah Pryce

TBD, Majority Leader Tom Delay Golf Tournament, Beth Page Black Golf Course, Majority Leader Delay

11:30AM, JPMorgan Chase Women's Lunch, JPMC World Headquarters, 270 Park Ave., JPMorgan Chase, Republican Conference Chairwoman Deborah Pryce

TBD, Cipriani 42nd St.

1-3PM, Lunch at Gracie Mansion, East End Ave., at 88th St., Mayor Bloomberg, Jonathan Tisch, Senator Ted Stevens and Rep. Bill Young

1:30 - 3:30PM, W Stands For Women Briefing, Waldorf-Astoria Hotel,

4-8PM, Republican State Leadership Cmte Hospitality, Mustang Sally's, 324 7th Ave

TBD, A New York Night at Noche, Noche in Times Square, 1604 Broadway, RNC

5 - 8 PM, Grover Norquist & Americans for Tax Reform Reception, New York Yacht Club, 37 W. 44th St., American for Tax Reform

TBD, Reception Honoring House/Senate Leadership, Metropolitan Museum of Art, Daimler Chrysler & Union Pacific

8PM, Texas Nights Productions, China Club, TX Delegation

10PM, Georgia Delegation Reception Benefit for Camp Sunshine, Roseland Ballroom, 293 W. 52nd St.

10PM - 2AM, Akin, Gump Event Honoring Ken Mehlman, Bryant Park Grill, 24 West 40th St., Akin Gump, Ken Mehlman

10PM - 1AM, Susan G Komen Breast Cancer Foundation Event, Bergdorf Goodman

10PM, NASDAQ Desert Reception, NASDAQ MarketSite, 4 Times Square, NASDAQ, Senate Banking Cmte. Chairman Richard Shelby and Cmte.

10PM, Pombo Evening Event, CroBar, House Resources Cmte., House Resources Committee Chairman Richard Pombo

10:00 PM, W Stands For Women: Leaders and Volunteers RightNOW!, Pressure, RightNOW!, Reps. Katherine Harris, Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, Marilyn Musgrave, RNC Chairman Ed Gillespie and more.

9PM, Music Event featuring ZZ Top and Kiss Nation, B.B. Kings, 237 W. 42nd St.

Tuesday, August 31

10 AM - 1 PM, Community Service Project w/ RNC delegates , ,

TBD, RGA Governors Golf Tournament, Beth Page Black Golf Course,

TBD, Senator Nickles Golf Tournament, Winged Foot,

12-2PM, Governors, First Spouses, COS Luncheon, Central Park Boathouse, East Side between 74th and 75th, RGA

4-8PM, Hope Street Kids Event, Republican Conference Chairwoman Deborah Pryce

4-7PM, BIO Reception for Rep. Sue Kelly and Rep. Michael Ferguson, NASDAQ, 4 Times Square, BIO, NASDAQ, Genentech & Roche, Rep. Sue Kelly & Rep. Michael Ferguson

4-6 PM, Camp David Afloat, Mariner III, Chelsea Pier, American Success PAC, House Rules Committee Chairman David Dreier

5-7 PM, Reception, Ronald Reagan Foundation, LeCirque

5-8 PM, VIP Cocktail Reception, Tribeca Grill, 375 Greenwick St., National Restaurant Association

5-8 PM, EEI Event, The Supper Club, 240 W. 47th St., EEI, House Energy and Commerce Chairman Joe Barton

6-8PM, Blank Rome Convention Party , Chrysler Building Lobby, 405 Lexington Ave., Blank Rome

7-10PM, NASD Reception, One Liberty Plaza, 165 Broadway, NASD, Rep. Baker & Members of House Financial Services Capital Markets Subcommittee

8-11 PM, Texas Nights Productions Honoring the Texas Delegation, B.B. Kings, TX Delegation, TX Delegation

9:30 PM, Celebrate The Spirits of New York, New York Yacht Club, 37 West 44th St., Weekly Standard, Distilled Spirits Council, The Economist, Roll Call, Sen. Frist

10PM, New York Delegation Evening Event, Noche, NY Delegation, NY Delegation

TBD, Tavern on the Green

Wednesday, September 1

7:30 AM, Great American Farm Breakfast, Marriott Marquis Broadway Ballroom, House/Senate Agriculture Cmtes., Agriculture Sec. Ann Veneman

12-2PM, KOMPAC Lunch, Lincoln Center

TBD, NRSC Golf Tournament, Beth Page Black Golf Course, NRSC,

2:30 -5 PM, "A Brooklyn State of Mind" State Fair, featuring Gov. Huckabee's band "Capitol Offense", Fulton Ferry Landing, Brooklyn, RGA

4-6 PM, Gov. Bush/ FL GOP Reception

6-7:30 PM, PAC Solutions America, Fresco's

5:30-7:30PM, Senator Rick Santorum Cocktail/Martini Fundraiser, Tuscan, 622 3rd Ave., Sen. Santorum, Sen. Rick Santorum and Special Guess Bo Dietl

TBD, Rob Portman Event, Rainbow Room, Rep. Rob Portman

TBD, Frist After Party, Charity for Global HIV/AIDS Crisis*, Rockefeller Center, Sen. Frist, Sen. Frist

TBD, Copacabana

9PM, Music Event Featuring Marshall Tucker Band, Dickey Betts Band, and Super Diamond, B.B. Kings, 237 W. 42nd St.

8-11PM, Texas Night Productions Honoring the TX Delegation, TX Delegation, TX Delegation

11PM, Tribute To Giuliani, Rainbow Room, 30 Rockefeller Plaza, Pzizer, Pataki & Bloomberg, Rudolph Giuliani

12-2PM, KOMPAC Lunch, Carmine's, KOMPAC, Speaker Hastert

TBD, Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum

5PM, RGA Rocks the Planet in Times Square, Planet Hollywood in Times Square, 1540 Broadway, RGA


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