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Green Shoots Have Shriveled In Freezing Winter Cold, And Now Gay Marriage Is Defeated Again

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  • A bill supporting gay marriage failed in the New Jersey state Senate. [Philadelphia Inquirer]
  • George Galloway, the MP and linguistic hero who brought you "drink-soaked former Trotskyist popinjay," was thrown out of Egypt when he tried to enter the Gaza strip like a hippie. [BBC News]
  • Yemeni officials swear they barely knew the Underpants Bomber who trained in their nation, and they certainly never sat next to him at lunch or let him copy their homework. [Los Angeles Times]
  • Everybody got excited when the American economy shed "only" 11,000 jobs in November, but December saw losses of 85,000 more jobs, so we are all Doomed again. [New York Times]
  • Bob Gates will remain Defense Secretary at least until the end of this year, at which point he will be replaced by Bill Gates, and nobody will notice. [AP]
  • The BCS Championship game was a big let-down for everyone because one team's star quarterback got injured early so it was too easy for the other team to win, and now there is "a cloud" over everything, THANKS A LOT COLT McCOY'S SHOULDER. [Fox Sports]
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