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SC Republicans Want To Give Trump His Own Confederate Memorial

Trump

Republicans have finally gone too far.

It was bad enough that they've actively enabled Donald Trump's shredding of the Constitution. Now, they're attempting to bestow a permanent honor on the (impeached) president in my home town of Greenville, South Carolina. State Reps. Stewart Jones of Laurens County and Jonathon Hill of Anderson County (where my mother was born) have sponsored a bill that would name the interchange of Interstates 85 and 385 in Greenville after the thrice-married New York real estate developer and credibly accused rapist.

Here is how Jones and Hill make their case for Resolution Dumbass 5009:

Whereas, President Donald Trump fights tirelessly to restore our American values and defeat the radical left; and

Whereas, President Trump has kept his promises to improve the economy, build the wall, defund Planned Parenthood, cut ISIS off at the head, and stop endless wars; and

Whereas, President Trump is under constant attack by anti-American politicians and the fake news media; and

Whereas, President Trump has the full support of countless South Carolinians and deserves to be honored.

These geniuses don't just want to slap Trump's name on some random thoroughfare where men regularly travel late at night when cheating on their wives --- the Stormy Corridor right off "White Horseface Road." No, the Gateway Project was a tremendous undertaking and significant infrastructure achievement. A new interchange was created with new lanes, ramps, and 10 new bridges. Interstate 385 was widened and surrounding roads improved. Trump has contributed absolutely nothing to its anticipated summer 2020 completion. We know that because troops weren't robbed to pay for it. I don't want to see that asshole showing up with his ice android for a ribbon cutting ceremony at the new President Donald J. Trump Interchange. He'd probably try to break a champagne bottle on a traffic light.

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Construction on the project has resulted in headaches and frustrations for drivers. It's been a four-year-long nightmare, much like Trump himself, but it's actually guaranteed to end this year and we'll have something positive to show for it.

I was born in Greenville and lived there for more than 20 years. I am intimately aware of the areas around the intersection of 385 and 85. I'd prefer almost anyone else's name appear on the traffic signs and road markers identifying the new interchange. Come on, my father still lives here. Black South Carolinians aren't naive. We are used to driving down Slave Whipper Boulevard on our way to the grocery store. We just hoped that after we had a brother in the White House, we would finally stop naming community property after white supremacists.

There are actual Greenville natives we could honor instead. Jesse Jackson was born in Greenville, South Carolina, but I suspect Jones and Hill wouldn't want to give the civil rights leader any shoutouts. They could consider James Mann, a World War II veteran who represented South Carolina's fourth congressional district, which includes Greenville and Spartanburg. He served in the House of Representatives from 1969 to 1979. During that period, as a member of the judiciary committee, he voted to recommend the impeachment of Richard Nixon. Republicans these days would rather celebrate presidents who beat the rap.

[Greenville News]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).

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