Groping Locales Sexier Than the Porno-Cancer Scanners

We feel safer alreadyMaybe you're not the type of person who enjoys the groping supplied by the porno-cancer scanners or its radiation-free alternative, the hot and heavy pat down. Maybe you reserve the look-y looks at your genitals for the nice people you meet at crowded, dark bars, as opposed to the TSA agents who come after you in the name of Freedom? But if you can’t get a good groping at the airport, what does this mean for our national pastime of sexytime in public places?


Being the great service journalists we are, here are some places in D.C. where, if groping occurs, no one will write a rant about it on The Internet (also known as “great make-out spots”):

And, here are some activities that, unlike going through security at an airport, should (though no guarantees!) lead to groping (also known as "great date ideas"):

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