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Grover Norquist: Why Are All These Democrat Nazis Holocausting Poor Billionaire Eduardo Saverin?

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Poor Eduardo Saverin! All he wanted to do was renounce his American citizenship, coincidentally shortly before a big honkin' tax bill came due from his Facebook public offering or something (we don't know, it was all the news there was on Friday, which brought our cherished Internet to a dumb screeching halt). And then mean old New York Senator Chuck Schumer targeted him with thedelightful Ex-PATRIOT Act, which would ding poor Mr. Severin for 30 percent of his income! That is double the rate that is supposed to be paid by the wealthy, as a reward for them creating your jobs. (You do all work in yacht sales, right? Or yacht construction, or yacht redecorating, or yacht skippering, or yacht insurance fraud?) And doubling the tax rate, so that it is equal to what your slob brother-in-law pays on his unemployment check? That is punishing them for their success! Everybody knows that! But did you also know it's what the NAZIS did? That's right, anti-tax hero Grover Norquist says this Ex-PATRIOT bill is the worst thing since the Holocaust, and we know six million Jews who would totally agree!


Inspired by the actions of Eduardo Saverin, the Facebook co-founder who renounced his citizenship ahead of a large tax payment associated with the company’s much-ballyhooed initial public offering, Sens. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and Bob Casey (D-PA) unveiled a bill Thursday to force such tax-dodgers to pay a 30 percent tax rate on all future U.S. investments and ban them from ever setting foot in the country again.

Anti-tax activist Grover Norquist compared it to the actions of Nazi Germany.

“I think Schumer can probably find the legislation to do this. It existed in Germany in the 1930s and Rhodesia in the ’70s and in South Africa as well,” Norquist said, as quoted by The Hill. “He probably just plagiarized it and translated it from the original German.”

Hahahaha ho ho cough wheeze rattle phlork! Oh Grover Norquist, you old goat! Rush Limbaugh and the Wall Street Journal -- surprise! -- agree. So do lots of America, Love It Or Leave It types, whose main concern now is not so much America First as that capital never be impeded in going on tax holiday. John Boehner, though, who occasionally lives in the real world where billionaire tax dodging is not universally applauded by a hardscrabble Ohio electorate, says some words and then some other words and then some other words some more.

“This is absolutely outrageous … that somebody would renounce their citizenship to avoid paying taxes,” House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) said on ABC’s “This Week” Sunday. The speaker didn’t rule out supporting the Democrats’ bill but pointed out that moves like Saverin’s are “already against the law.”

“I’m not sure it’s necessary,” Boehner said of the so-called Ex-PATRIOT Act. “If it’s necessary, I — sure, I would support it.”

It is almost as if John Boehner does not think Eduardo Saverin is the new Anne Frank! But don't worry, when it comes time to vote on the Ex-PATRIOT Act, they'll have larded it up with $50 billion in new Star Wars funding, criminalizing gay dogs and single motherhood, and compulsory English-only prayers to Jesus in every Head Start center, which will also be banned. That bill is going to be awesome. [TPM]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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