Not the Winter White House.


PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FOR ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD: The United States does not have a "Winter White House." It has a "White House," which is traditionally where the president and his or her lesbian lover reside, and also where the president works. It has a "Camp David," which, like the White House, is owned by America. This is a nice place not far from DC where U.S. American presidents can invite foreign leaders over for a little romantic campfire time out in the woods. The government also owns other cool places where the president is free to Pussgrab 'n' Chill, especially in times of crisis, but they are highly #classified, therefore we don't know much about them.

Mar-a-Lago is Donald Trump's private club, where ordinary unemployed mom-and-pop Rust Belt people who voted for Trump can pony up $200,000 to be members, and that money goes into the coffers of the Trump family -- yes, the same Trump family Donald Trump is in! It is in no way, shape or form the "Winter White House." For Trump, it is his EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND house, but he owns it.

So it's real funny that the State Department published a blog post on a few websites at the beginning of April, including those of U.S. embassies abroad, that was basically an advertisement for Mar-a-Lago. It was published just before China President came to America for an important diplomatic meeting with the president's private club members at the president's private club. Oh, what bullshit this is:

Trump is not the first president to have access to Mar-a-Lago as a Florida retreat, but he is the first one to use it. By visiting this “winter White House,” Trump is belatedly fulfilling the dream of Mar-a-Lago’s original owner and designer.

When it was discovered on Monday and all sane people in America launched into a Greek chorus of "WTF BRO THAT IS NOT HOW THIS WORKS," the blog post mysteriously disappeared into the ether. Now that page just says, "The intention of the article was to inform the public about where the President has been hosting world leaders. We regret any misperception and have removed the post." Gosh, it's like they're not even committed to emolument-ing Donald Trump. What weak and sad losers.

The writer had told the story of how lady socialite Marjorie Merriweather Post built Mar-a-Lago 90 years ago, and she specifically decided it should be the fanciest of houses. She had dreams for the place, that American presidents could come down there and go swimming or whatever, but fate had other plans. Look, here's a part:

"A DREAM DEFERRED"? Wait, this old dead white lady's wish for her estate to be a place for U.S. American presidents to frolic naked in the sun is "a dream deferred," like in the Langston Hughes poem, you know, the poem that inspired Lorraine Hansberry's play A Raisin In The Sun? Let's read a poem:

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up

Like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore—

And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?

Or crust and sugar over—

Like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags

Like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

Jesus. If we didn't know better, we might think everybody who works for the entire Trump administration is completely tone-deaf.

Anyway, as Buzzfeed notes, American embassies in the United Kingdom and Albania shared the totally normal blog post, just in case there are any red-blooded American heartland voters in those countries who might also want to do emoluments to the president.

What was really pathetic about the post, though, was that there's no link to a form you can fill out that says, "Yes! I'd like to learn more about spending $200,000 to do emoluments to Donald Trump," or "I already am a member of too many Mar-a-Lagos, but show me other similar clubs the president owns, so I can exercise my constitutional right to do emoluments to Donald Trump." Gah, it's like they don't even know how to help Trump violate the Constitution very good.

The Trump administration: Shitty at business, shitty at America.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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