Guessing Game Results: His Cheating Heart
Thanks for all your guesses in response to yesterday's blind item about a southern Republican congressman who has found himself in a bit of trouble. We won't pass on the correctness or incorrectness of your guesses; we'll just pass them along, with minimal comment.
Here was one of the better responses:
Oh God, oh God, oh God! Please, please, please let it be Jeff Sessions! And please let his mistress be John Cornyn!
Sorry to disappoint you, dear reader. But it can't be Jeff Sessions, since he's a senator rather than a representative. Points for creativity, though!
More guesses, after the jump.
Here were the other responses you submitted -- some of which aren't great guesses, since they relate to senators rather than representatives, people who are no longer in Congress, or the dead. Also, just like horoscopes, please treat this as "for entertainment purposes only."
* It has to be Phil "The Feel" Gingrey from Georgia. That guy rocks a porn-stache from straight out of a John Holmes film, plus his credentials as a OB-GYN make him the obvious choice for dirtbag of the month.
* Clearly Rodney Alexander. Former democrats are most prone to such infidelity within the GOP ranks. Perhaps he'll switch back to the dems so he can get that lucky abortion.
* It has to be the sunshine states favorite son, our very own Mel Martinez. After all, he is from Havana, baaaaaaaaaaaaby. My second choice would be the sunshine states second favorite son, Katherine Harris. She has bigger nads than all of us combined. Is she eligible?
* I'm pretty sure if we're talking illegit babies, we're talking South Carolina. I'll put five bucks down on Essie Mae DeMint... I haven't heard much from Jimbo [DeMint] since he got elected. Good thing the condom snapped before SCOTUS overturns Roe.
* It's not a congressman -- it's a senator (that was just to throw you off). Strom Thurmond. Definitely.
* Joe Scarborough
* David Vitter is, of course, a Senator and not a Congressman, but he does troll the New Orleans hooker scene on occasion, according to a friend of mine in his office terrified that Sen. Vitter will get caught red-, er, "handed." I've heard the rumor that he actually has a child by one of them from too many connected people to discount it completely. Ahhh, Lousiana politics. As pure as the driven snow.
* My first guess would be the Opie of the Florida delegation, Adam Putnam, Republican from central Florida. He is just too much the All-American boy. Besides, he was way too young when he got elected. There had to be raging hormones going on or he is just a late bloomer!